Every now, then and later, we get those moments when loneliness forces us to question our deepest thoughts. For me, one of those moments came today. Enduring the sordid it horrendous walk from my hall to CST under this unfriendly Ota Sun was sort of my punishment for laziness. I had spent the better of the last hour laying on my bed, listening to every Olamide Jam from this summer in repeat (If you’re on my bbm, my love for Olamide shouldn’t shock you anymore 😏). Now, it was me, just me, feeling tragically overdressed questioning everybody’s opinion as I walked by.
“Would they judge me for looking too serious?”
Ever had those moments when you start making excuses to yourself for you actions because you feel people are judging you? Like preparing a defense for SDC even before Student Affairs gets you. If you have, then you can totally relate to my thoughts at that instant. But it wasn’t all negativity anyways, eventually I would stop beating myself for my unconventional act. I shouldn’t be blamed for wanting to look a tad better than the average lad. Better still, I shouldn’t have to carry the cross of everyone who at that moment seems … Conventionally dressed. Otherwise, it would be similar to cursing someone for choosing Bashan Swallow over the conventional option.
While this might sound simple and straightforward though, many at times, we tend to choose managing the conventional option rather than enjoying the better – in this case, Bashan swallow 😀. And before you even go on to deny any involvement in this, it does stretch beyond food, remember that dress you wanted to buy but you never got because “I’d look overdressed I’m that”? If you think I’m being too material … Okay. Imagine you choosing to join in on chapel scrubbing some Saturday and eventually bailing cause your friends think it isn’t cool? You plan on staying in to study cause your GPA be looking like it needs a push up bra, only to drop it all staying in always makes you look like a loner?
One way or the other, we have set out to get the best, what we know is right for us but have chosen to do what is socially upright. Staying in a wasteful and abusive relationship because being single is “too much struggle” or worse still, “not cool”. Eventually degrading yourself to societal standards because you are too afraid to stand out. Behind every confident smile is the option to settle for less. It keeps hanging over our shoulders feeding our insecurities. We all have to face this, but at no point must we give in. It’s not a sin to be tempted, it’s only a sin when you fall for the temptation. We really can’t keep blaming ourselves cause everyone around us cannot understand us.
It’s time to do you. You ain’t gon raise that GPA if you don’t stop being cool and sit your ass down to study. Why eat rice everyday cause everyone else is eating rice? If it’s a waffle you want, have it, some pizza? Go out and get your self some. Tired of school? Drop out 😂😂😂 Tired of being broke all the time because you have friends who only take and don’t give? Then you better stop giving, or better still, start taking too. You have a passion you want to pursue? Better get on it, no matter how many people there are chasing your dreams out there, there’s always room for one more. Got a wardrobe full of clothes you don’t wear cause you don’t want to look overdressed ?? Bring it, I’d help you wear them 😒😒😒 If your relationship isn’t giving you what you need… The Tender, Love and Care, The PDA, The orgasms, better go find one that does. It’s time to be selfish because in the end, all you’ve got is you.
Make sure you do you this weekend.