I wouldn’t know.

There’s something about those eyes that makes me want to kiss those lips.
Take off your glasses and admire how beautiful you are. Spend a moment joking to myself, wondering if your nose would actually obstruct the kiss. I know you hate my nose jokes, I’d crack em anyways. Why? Cause I love to see your angry face. That look you give whenever you’re mad at me. But you should know I like it already, I always smile when you give me that look.

You already know I’m thinking about you, so I’d stop here. Whenever I see you again 😃

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I am

I am not the perfection you dreamt of
Nor am my the happiness you wished for.
I am not the answer to your questions,
Nor am I the comfort to your pains.
I am not the Ying to your yang,
the peanut butter to your jelly,
Nor am I the lover you
asked of the heavens.
I said as she stared
hopelessly into my eyes.

I am the pain you awake from in the morning
Yes! I am the sorrow that plagues your heart.
I am the regret you look back on in shame
Yes! I am the turning point, the breaking point.
I am your weakness, your addiction,
the one your mama warned you of,
Yes! I am your down fall.
I said as she fell
helplessly into my arms.

I am what I am,
and what I am not
I cannot be to you.

#RiskEverything

There’s a feeling I get when I see a
beautiful car. I think to myself,
“I like this car, I should get one for myself”.
At that very moment I forget
whether or not I have a couple more beautiful cars at home.
In that very moment,
All I want is a
new car.

It’s like seeing a crazy phone on display.
You fall in love instantly and you’re immediately filled with the desire
to get it. At that very moment
you forget the phone or even
phones in your hand.
In that very moment,
All you want is a
new phone.

That’s exactly how I feel when I see you.
I immediately let go of the feelings
I’ve ever had for any other girl.
I instantly filled with a burning
desire to get a piece of you.
At that very moment I forget
whether or not I’m in relationship
In that very moment,
All I want is You.

Just like the car and the phone,
You really have no idea how
you feel until you’ve had an
opportunity to really test it.
You’d never know if you
really love it until you buy one,
and find out what’s truly within.
Just like the car and the phone,
I’d never know how I truly feel,
Until I’ve risked it all just to
have a taste, a feel of you.

So what then do I do now,
In the face of a beautiful car,
Or a crazy new phone?
Do I #RiskEverything?

A Case of Mistrust

I’m not one to trust, never, not really. I tell stories, I lie, I’d say what it takes to get my ass out of any situation. My ex’s can confirm this, some might even vivify this with a specific instance where I, knowing I’d already been caught, pulls out some emotionally pestiferous story that could cause anyone to question reality. Before you judge, I’m just human. You are human too, you lie, you pretend, you smile away your anger, pain and distraught. Your morning look becomes a lie, your tweets slowly become lies, your life…

 

But, in all our humanity, there comes a moment, one that comes as often as buhari wins a presidential election, where you meet someone, and you make a choice to be you, the real you, the pain and sadness behind the smile, the broken soul behind the laughter, the dirty and odious being inside those wonderfully made clothes. You tell the truth about your all, no secrets, no stories. You go bare, arms open hoping to be accepted because for some reason, our humanity causes us to require this acceptance, if not from everyone, but someone “special”. We are blinded by true reason, blinded by the realities of life. in these moments, common sense becomes uncommon. We strive to do more, if possible, do all to bring happiness in our pursuit of acceptance.

How do they say it? “Keep searching and you’d find the one that accepts you for you”. Time and time again we believe this, we accept that some utopian kinda person exits who’s got the very size and shape of pegs to fit your holes – No sexual pun here :). So time and time again we open up, we take the opportunities to give ourselves in our true form – some more often than none. I, mostly more than usual. But like every fairytale movie, reality hits when the curtain comes down on the set. When we realise the persons we’ve given ourselves to are simply human and not our expected super girl or man 🙂 We are reminded of the generality of our very existence. We our judged for our true selves in the manner we have judged others. Our dreams, hopes of happiness, dashed because we aren’t considered good enough.

But do we give up? Do we abandon our search for acceptance? For “Love”? Nope, we continue in the same circle, in expectation because we’ve been convinced that a human without hope is dead. Escaping by the stroke of our teeth, inches away from destruction. Coming out a little more broken than we got into the last battle, we seek a break, only to begin the cycle again in hopes that this time its better than the last.

Well, I’m tired of trying, I’m tired of trusting, I’m tired of being judged, I’m tired of watching people attach hidden goals to my simple actions. I accept me, and you should accept you too 🙂 If the world won’t accept us for who we are, we are cool with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself cause like I always say, you’re all you’ve got when the lights go out.

I’m tired of thinking I’ve found myself a cheerleader.

Why Settle For Less?

Every now, then and later, we get those moments when loneliness forces us to question our deepest thoughts. For me, one of those moments came today. Enduring the sordid it horrendous walk from my hall to CST under this unfriendly Ota Sun was sort of my punishment for laziness. I had spent the better of the last hour laying on my bed, listening to every Olamide Jam from this summer in repeat (If you’re on my bbm, my love for Olamide shouldn’t shock you anymore 😏). Now, it was me, just me, feeling tragically overdressed questioning everybody’s opinion as I walked by.

“Would they judge me for looking too serious?”

Ever had those moments when you start making excuses to yourself for you actions because you feel people are judging you? Like preparing a defense for SDC even before Student Affairs gets you. If you have, then you can totally relate to my thoughts at that instant. But it wasn’t all negativity anyways, eventually I would stop beating myself for my unconventional act. I shouldn’t be blamed for wanting to look a tad better than the average lad. Better still, I shouldn’t have to carry the cross of everyone who at that moment seems … Conventionally dressed. Otherwise, it would be similar to cursing someone for choosing Bashan Swallow over the conventional option.

While this might sound simple and straightforward though, many at times, we tend to choose managing the conventional option rather than enjoying the better – in this case, Bashan swallow 😀. And before you even go on to deny any involvement in this, it does stretch beyond food, remember that dress you wanted to buy but you never got because “I’d look overdressed I’m that”? If you think I’m being too material … Okay. Imagine you choosing to join in on chapel scrubbing some Saturday and eventually bailing cause your friends think it isn’t cool? You plan on staying in to study cause your GPA be looking like it needs a push up bra, only to drop it all staying in always makes you look like a loner?

One way or the other, we have set out to get the best, what we know is right for us but have chosen to do what is socially upright. Staying in a wasteful and abusive relationship because being single is “too much struggle” or worse still, “not cool”. Eventually degrading yourself to societal standards because you are too afraid to stand out. Behind every confident smile is the option to settle for less. It keeps hanging over our shoulders feeding our insecurities. We all have to face this, but at no point must we give in. It’s not a sin to be tempted, it’s only a sin when you fall for the temptation. We really can’t keep blaming ourselves cause everyone around us cannot understand us.

It’s time to do you. You ain’t gon raise that GPA if you don’t stop being cool and sit your ass down to study. Why eat rice everyday cause everyone else is eating rice? If it’s a waffle you want, have it, some pizza? Go out and get your self some. Tired of school? Drop out 😂😂😂 Tired of being broke all the time because you have friends who only take and don’t give? Then you better stop giving, or better still, start taking too. You have a passion you want to pursue? Better get on it, no matter how many people there are chasing your dreams out there, there’s always room for one more. Got a wardrobe full of clothes you don’t wear cause you don’t want to look overdressed ?? Bring it, I’d help you wear them 😒😒😒 If your relationship isn’t giving you what you need… The Tender, Love and Care, The PDA, The orgasms, better go find one that does. It’s time to be selfish because in the end, all you’ve got is you.

Make sure you do you this weekend.
Xx

I miss.

I miss you, Yes I do.
I miss us, our moments together.
I miss you, I’m repeating this cause it’s true.
Talking, and the never ending laughter.
I miss you, because there’s simply none like you.
Around you, nothing else could seem better.

Our late night rendezvous’,
I miss them, so much.
Driving over cause I needed a glimpse of your smile,
I so fucking miss that shii.
Excuse my French, but English seems insufficient for this emotion.
Getting stuck in traffic,
Seconds, minutes, hours,
They’d pass slowly as I get angry at myself for loving you so much.
Seeing you and having this all walk away.
I want some of that.
I miss you.

Your kisses, your hugs,
My babies, those two on your chest,
My very beautiful babies.
I miss them, I do, so much.
Having you over, on the home alone days.
You in a beautiful, stunning and sexy dress.
Wanting to have you all the moment you walk in.
Fighting that urge, I miss that.
Your subtle kisses, your full lips,
The way you bite on my lips,
Those moments when you take the lead,
Holding you close,
Running my fingers on your soft and warm skin,
Melanin Popping :).

You talking, me…  Touching.
That was always us.
I was your therapist on one hand,
On the other, you were always too speechless to describe.
Coming over with your problems,
Leaving in bliss, that was us.
I would always listen while you talked,
I cared, so I listened carefully.
Knowing when and where to stop you,
A kiss was never enough to stop you.
Nope, you’re too crazy for such simple stuff.
One strap at a time,
I’d find my way to your boobs,
Remember the single flick move to unhook your bra?
Classic. I know ☺
You see it coming but you never expect it.
Pop… Glory! There are my babies.
Deep conversations suddenly turning into streams of soft moans
I couldn’t miss anything more.

Or maybe I do, Yes, I do miss something more.
Nothing ever beats me down there.
Together, we made “Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” a reality.
Remember the first time?
Our first night…
In the car, the back seat…
I have to say I spilled the ice cream on purpose,
But then, you prolly already know that.
Your legs, of the many I’ve met, really can’t be matched.
You blush when I say this,
But there’s not really anything I haven’t licked off those items of perfection.
You love the feeling, I know,
Your sharp yet soft moans give it all away.
Mixed feelings, the cold from the ice cream and my warm tongue running upwards.
The waves that run through you as I get closer, I miss that too.
Now that we’ve got Mayonnaise and Chocolate spread checked on the list, I think we should try some tomato ketchup next :):).

“Oh! Shit! *Gasps*… Silence”
Sounds familiar? You know it does.
You didn’t expect it, you never expect it…
I tease too much, keep you wanting it.
My tongue, playing slowly around it.
Soft kisses, right on the edges.
They always get to you,
I like it when you beg, when you show me how bad you want it.
I miss that.

Remember the washing machine?
Yes,
The washing machine.
There I was, tryna close your mouth,
Ofcourse I failed, you left the neighbors asking questions either ways.
But I couldn’t be bothered, I knew I made you happy that way.
I wanna make you feel that way again. 😥

Finally, I miss our games.
Tying your arms behind while I pleasured you mercilessly,
A shot for every sound you make.
It was the easiest way to get you drunk.
You never could really hold those moans,
But then, I can’t blame you,
Like I said, merciless :).

I miss all of these, I can’t repeat it anymore.
I wanna stick a frozen chocolate bar in you and see how long you can take it
Some strawberry ice cream off those boobs 😁
Spend minutes admiring those legs.
I want to show you a new level of grace, more than I’ve shown before 😇
I wanna be your Mr Grey again.
I miss you, and this is me proving it.

Everything from #theLSRseries (2nd Half)

For your reading pleasure, thank me later.

#theLSRseries Joshua: Freewrite
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-G7

#theLSRseries James: Freewrite
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-G5

#theLSRseries HE
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-G3

#theLSRseries: Fatal 3somer
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-G1

#TheLSRSeries @justwolfy_ : The Life Of A Savage
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FZ

#TheLSRSeries @EarnyD__ : Open Corridors
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FX

#TheLSRSeries Korede : First
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FU

#TheLSRSeries Shovel : Confessions – The Rapist (Part2)
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FG

#TheLSRSeries @dat_CUbwoi : Narcissus’ lover
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FE

#TheLSRSeries Nnenna x @justwolfy_ : Unending Secrets
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-FZ

#TheLSRSeries @the_scribbler_ : I WANT YOU
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-Fo

#TheLSRSeries Iavi : Side Nigga Stories Episode 2
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-Fm

#TheLSRSeries @justwolfy_ : As You Are
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-Fk

#TheLSRSeries Mima H. ft Korede Kolawole: Memories (of Her)
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-Ff

Reminders

How life subtly delivers pointers and reminders to our all fatal flaw; our human existence. Like notifications for a forgotten birthday or some unaffectionate integration we had either abandoned on Facebook or simply chosen to ignore. A simple rumbling in your stomach or a banging migraine in your head, pointers; too little achieved in too much time.

Yes, time, not actions or consequence, form or deformity, thought or the lack there of. This is our tragic flaw. The one true item we own too little of. The only quantity that reality truly holds over us. Infact, the only definition of true materialism, ignoring the value of this unlimited yet finitely proportioned quantity. Above this value, all else is vanity.

This realization remains as new and startling every day with every new reminder life presents to us. Perhaps why our religion is strengthened by moments of reflection and pure meditation as to the essence of life. Our belief in a celestial dictator reinforced by the notion that for every slice of a cake consumed, there must be a person with a knife ensuring no one gets to bite more than they can chew. As such is the strive to please the all knowing cake commandant, perhaps if we could find favour there, our cakes would carry the most quality.

But in the end nothing describes our lives than the scales of justice, the principle of conservation of energy, the second law of motion et al. Nothing goes for nothing, like money or affection for sex, so goes laziness for poverty…

He who chooses sleep and slumber should not be surprised when his poverty knocks on his door, for he made no hay while the sun shone

… Every action of this moment would produce a consequence tomorrow. The choice between good and bad consequences boils down to our responses to the simple reminders in our lives..

Key example to note would be Mike’s eventual arrest in season 5 episode 10… After 4 seasons of reminders from life, well…

Remember to share this post 😘😘😘

#theLSRseries Joshua: Freewrite

I’m all about the quiet light.
I’ve gotten so used to the idea of you
Being away I get comfy in the lonely darkness.
If you can hold me down then you can tame my mind.
Fill my imagination with the thoughts of your touches,
Arouse my inner gladiator, bring out my inner softness to the outside.
I’d love to lean back and feel good,
Let you tease me to the assured height of ecstacy.
I want to love the things you hate about yourself,
Make your insecurities become your beauty,
Make you so happy that you’re too numb to smile.
These words are eternal, no matter how much you don’t wanna believe them.
I want to be so deep in your mind that I can feel you begging for it.
I don’t want to tease you but bring you down from your high horse because all you need is stabilty.
I want to break you down to push you up and watch you soar through paths unknown.
Then please me with your lips on mine, please me with your tongue round my shaft, nimble on my tip.
And baby, let me love you,
In the one way,
Like I can.

#theLSRseries James: Freewrite

The loud echoes of silence fill my ears,
I hate being left alone.
Just acheing memories of a once vibrant soul,
Bouncing with possibilities and a will power rivaled by none.
A once kindred spirit
Free from the baggage of society
With not a single care in the world
Ready to take on life in all her spunky zest,
But here I sit alone, broken and void.
A shadow of my once adorable self,
Pushed to the fringes of insanity
I find in suicide my only comfort,
My succur,
My assurance that there would be light at the end of this dark tunnel to which it seems the end is impossible to reach.
Alone I came into this world with songs of hope and tears  of  joy,
Alone I shall end it with weeping and gnashing of teeth.
History shan’t remember the blimp,
The passing memory,
The lonely boy
Who lost his joy
                                                                    

                 Yours, mmin mfet ?

#theLSRseries HE

“He” is my perfect man in my head.
He’s my biggest fan.
He’s my loudest cheerleader.
He’s my beast of burden.
He’ll carry with me my pain, but with more tenderness than I do myself.
He’ll wonder why I’m so hard on myself, why I allow myself stay haunted by the past.
Sometimes when I cry he’ll understand that he’ll never understand what life is like for a girl like me.
When I’m hot and cold he’ll adjust his body to fit my temperature because he loves me so.
I have demons, I have issues, but he’ll understand that.
Being with him will be so easy,
Simple to the point of silliness,
Intense to the point of fire,
But it will be all I’ll want because quite frankly I will feel the safest with him.
Every time I doubt him, he’ll honestly understand because he knows that I’m still healing from all the trust I had shattered in the past.
He’ll be okay with bearing with me the aftermath of a life of broken promises and unmet expectations.
He’ll understand that I’ll try to trust him,
That I’ll try to let my guard down,
That I’ll honestly try to be totally taken by his promises and his words.
I’ll try to picture forever with him even though I’m a girl that doesn’t believe in forever,
But because he has given so much to me I can give him that much.
He and I are different yet the same.
We both look at this love thing in a personalized way.
He sees a necessary evil to your heart, body and soul,
I see an unnecessary risk of your heart, body and soul;
But like I said we’re different yet the same.
I’m a strong girl,
I don’t need a knight in shining armor
but he doesn’t agree so he always tries to swoop in and save me.

Normally, I’d be upset at this but because he’s compromised for me I’ll allow him feel like he can save me.
It’s really saving him more than it can save me and anything that can save him is what I’ll ever want.

In reality on the other hand, I do not believe in fairy tales. I honestly do not believe that this guy is out there just waiting on me.  Sometimes though I allow myself get carried away, I allow myself get enthralled by the idea of a soulmate, a helper, a lover, a source of nourishment to my heart, a man I can return to every night and trust that he is only doing the things that will not break my heart. But because all I’ve heard and seen are cautionary tales that attest to the exact contrary, I’ll keep my heart for myself.

#theLSRseries: Fatal 3some

Please, it was a mistake. It will never happen again.” she said, tears welling up in her eyes, those pretty doe eyes that drew me to her from the very first day we met. “Of course it will never happen again.” I said and smiled at her sweetly. I raised the knife; it caught the gleam of the light and glinted, I climbed up on the bed and sat in between her spread legs gently teasing her clit with my index finger as I watched all sorts of expressions and feelings flash across her face; fear, anticipation, confusion and most of all, arousal. I  smiled again. “Baby, do you love me?” I asked her as I roughly thrust my finger deep into her, she gasped and nodded frantically, saying “Yes baby I do. I do”. My left hand landed on her cheek so suddenly that her head abruptly turned to the other side. My eyes bore into hers, I was pissed but in a controlled voice I said, “No you don’t, because if you did love me you would not have fucking cheated on me!”

Ohhhh lool. Forgive me. From the beggining yes? RECAP»»

     I didn’t think it would be hard to get them both to agree; they are both as naughty as I am, so first, I called Vince, my boyfriend of 3months. “So baby,” I said in my sweetest of voices after we had gone through the normal ‘how are you’s and ‘watsup’s,
“You down for a little dirty threesome?”
“You know I am always down for your dirty games baby. Who with this time? Someone I know?”
“Oh it’s Iris. I’ve told you about her but you haven’t met her yet…have you?”
“N-no, of course I don’t kno-w her. I haven’t met her I meant” he said, hurriedly stammering in the process. I smiled to myself.
“Okay then. Friday at your place okay? I’ll come with all the items we need. Love ya.” I ended the call.

     Next I called Iris; Iris is a girl I was…let’s say, fatally in love with. We met on twitter two weeks ago and after we had identified each other and exhanged several nudes and sexts, we moved our um, ‘exchanges’ to real life. The first day I saw Iris was the best day of my life, I had found my soul mate at last I thought. On that day, she came to my house wearing a long, tight skirt that had a slit up to her thigh. She had the kind of ass I looovedddd; moderately sized and firm. Her boobs were the kind that puckered whether or not it was aroused and I was turned on right on the spot. She sat on a chair and asked me to come sit beside her. After some time of necessary conversation, I said to her,
“Your lips look like something I need in my life”
“Then by all means, possess them babe”. Oh boy! I didn’t even need to think about it!

#TheLSRSeries @justwolfy_ : The Life Of A Savage

“I don’t think I can do this any longer, I can’t pretend to love you when I don’t even believe in love” he told her these words and walked out. Left her butt naked on the bed with her legs wide open and tears rolling down her eyes. She couldn’t understand what had just occured. Could he be bipolar she wondered. He just told her 2 hours ago that he loved her before he gave her the best dick she’d ever had. She couldn’t even fathom the way he made her cum. He made mer cum like a rhino fighting for the saftey of its family, like a lion fighting for its territory. He told her these words immediately after he just ate her brains out. I mean, what the fuck though, my legs are still wide open because my pussy needs to breathe after that “fuck and cum more than your ability to count” session, she thought to herself.

Derek is a ladies man. He’s the type of man that if he wasn’t him he’d hate with so much indocile passion. All his life he’s been looking for something deeper than love, something that could define what love meant. The only thing he could find was sex. “The love of sex”. To derek, sex is an art. An art of taking a woman’s body to the height of unfathomable pleasure. To make a woman cherish and adore her body even after he’s broken her heart. To make her find out the heights she couldn’t reach until she met him. To make her not regret the regret of meeting him. The first time he realised he could make a woman feel this way, he knew deep down in his soul that he wasn’t a man anymore. He knew, he had become a savage…

#TheLSRSeries @EarnyD__ : Open Corridors

I am plagued by confusion

As I walk these corridors in search of emotions.

I have sowed and sowed sparingly,

Tilled, watered and battered the soil

So have I harvested, harvested bountifully.

In the midst of plenty,

My thoughts remain empty.

Wandering without a goal

In the dark corridors of my soul.

To and fro, left – right, up and down,

Alone and forgotten,

I’m left to drown.

I am plagued by confusion

As I walk these corridors in search of emotions.

I have loved and loved terribly.

Touched, fucked and cum on these bodies.

Now I am wasted,

I fucked excessively.

#TheLSRSeries Korede : First

My first time 😃. Wow. My first time wasn’t the usual, typical teenage boy first where auntie Sidi, your mum’s sexy sister visits and decides to come to your room naked for the next two weeks when you’re both home alone, teaching you “all you need to know”. No, I had no auntie Sidi unfortunately…her name was Tracy and the day was…well let me start proper.

I was meant to go somewhere with a friend on the  particular day I lost my “innocence”. However, the idiot decided not to honor our original plan of meeting up at his house. Instead he told me to go to his cousin’s house because he had gone out with his dad and would be “a little late” so I should chill with his cousin for a while. Bruh said he had told his cousin who was home alone that I was on my way. My nigga gave me the address and I was thinking this should be mad, PlayStation for a while before we head out 😄. I got to the place and knocked, waiting for a guy to come unlock the door but instead what I saw standing in the doorway when the door was open was this fine ass broad in the shortest shorts possible…couldn’t even call them shorts. I had stared at her for like three minutes before I noticed how dumb I looked and straightened up as best as possible. Her, she just laughed and invited me in with this devilishly calm smile. Evil girl, she knew what she was doing 😒. I followed her in and sat on the couch, watching tv with her two seats away. Obviously being the twelve year old boy I was, the hormones immediately kicked in as I sat next to my nigga’s fifteen(more or less) year old cousin with the most ‘mature’ body a young girl could have(‘gobe’ wasn’t part of my vocabulary at that time). Lord knows I was slightly pissed that the fool didn’t tell me his cousin was a girl.

I didn’t want her to think I was boring so I started a conversation, asking questions about her cousin that I already knew answers to and about her. Luckily for me she liked to talk so I just sat there listening for twenty minutes, nodding on cue. Then she went upstairs for a while and came back, this time she sat next to me and I can swear her top looked pulled lower and I couldn’t stop looking at her chest. She then fakes a yawn and says she’s bored and I should come upstairs and see how her room looks and I’m thinking why the hell would I want to see your room? My dumb twelve year old mind, though hopeful , was clueless then. On the stairs, she asks “Have you ever done anything with a girl?”. Me, wanting to prove to this girl that I wasn’t a small boy like that said, “Of course”, not thinking she might realize the truth since I didn’t think I could ever be so lucky. Suddenly I decided to drop it and confessed that I’d only ever kissed a girl in my life. Then she started laughing and said “Want me to be your first?”. On hearing such, I was joyous AF and said “Sure”, trying my best to sound uninterested. We then walk into her room and she goes to the bathroom while  I “make myself comfortable” sitting on her bed. That was when it hit me. The panic rushed in all at once, Holy shit! I have no idea how to do anything but kiss. I was simply forming confidence. The fear was that my inexperience would become too obvious and she’d be annoyed and tell me to stop abruptly.

It helped that she took a lot of time to get ready because I needed the time to give myself a pep talk and calm down. The fact that it was my friend’s cousin didn’t come to mind even for a second. The girl really took her time and rather than be frustrated I was slightly relieved and that was when I decided to get the hell out of there; the most uncharacteristic decision (did I mention I was a hormonal twelve year old?). As I got up to try to leave, the internal argument between my hormones and my…well whatever it was that was telling me to get the hell out was raging. Just as I was about to leave the room, the spirits that wanted to ensure that I get laid brought her back into the room, making my attempt to escape futile (Oh shit. Oh well). She asked why I was leaving and immediately I lost all will power to leave and told her I was simply closing the door to give us privacy (the best I could have come up with so quickly in my twelve year old mind and it was a pretty damn good excuse!😒). Nonetheless she laughed and said her parents don’t get back until late at night (I caught myself looking out the window, hoping the sky was dark but of course the spirits made sure I had no such luck). She sat down and patted the bed next to her (Chai, the girl was flawless😥, looking like a Cadbury product), as I sat down, I did a check up to make sure no part of me was tense (well no part that was truly under my control). As I was wondering how many niggas had sat next to this girl on this bed, she swung herself on top of me and…

Ugliest Guy Ever Liveth

LIFE OF SHOVEL

Everyone and their mum swears the proverb ‘Mama wey born monkey go talk say the monkey fine’ carries total truth. Not Ajalu, or his mother, or the members of the Pakurumo community.

Every single citizen of Pakurumo above the age of nineteen remembers the very dark day for the community that happened today, exactly nineteen years and eleven months ago.

It was a deadly day. All signs pointed to it being one but prayers and faith to/in the god, Dawa, calmed everyone. Their faith would prove pointless as Dawa would casually sly our unfortunate people.

Prior to his birth, the village babalawo, commonly known as Ogbeni Sule prophesied that in the next ten years, a child would be born of the most beautiful woman in the village. ‘He would be an abomination. He would be a reincarnation of the fallen beast Kolanne’ he had said that afternoon.

Everyone had laughed…

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I’m In My Feelings

This is so relatable and I cried, a bit

LIFE OF SHOVEL

I’m in my feelings right now.

There’s so much I want to say but I’d rather not. It’s not that I can’t; it’s just, I know there will be consequences, a ripple effect I wouldn’t want to see happen, occurrences I would prefer remain in my imagination, a couple broken relationships. So I’ll keep these feelings to myself.

Or not.

Many times, I want to share stuff; thoughts, feelings, a random story, stuff generally, with a friend, or a close companion. And just as I’m about to hit them up, I stop myself.

Would they care? Like really care. I mean, we all got our problems. I get the feeling I would be bothering them. And since these people are gentle souls that prefer to keep the harsh comments to themselves, they’ll pretend to care. But that’s not what I want. I need them to actually care. To actually be…

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#TheLSRSeries @dat_CUbwoi : Narcissus’ lover

From the moment I laid eyes on you I loved you

Your eyes called to me like a flame calls to a moth

Unbridled longing and desire at first glance

I yearned for you and I saw you yearn for me

Each second seems like eons in your presence

The silences are never awkward

You smile when I smile, cry when I cry

And reach for me just when I reach for you

We’ve never touched but I’ve never been closer to anyone

A touch is all I want

The feel of your cheek is enough consumation for me

Everyone and everything pales in comparison to you

My own , my love, my precious…

But our love cannot be, it’s deemed unnatural, disdained by everyone

They deny our love to our very faces

Mocking the desire which is crystal clear before all

This only pulls us tighter together

Our knot of love unbroken by the murmurings of others

The rumours say I’ve lost my mind, but love is viewed by some as a mental malady

Rumors say I’ve lost my fortune, but you are every piece of gold I need

As the days turn to weeks and the new season beckons

I notice you fading, I feel my lover departing and me from he

It seems we can’t truly live of our love

As I draw a last few shallow breaths , pulled to death’s embrace I reach for you

And for the first time ever I feel your cheek

Not as healthy and colourful as when I first met you, but yours all the same

I slip into death glad to have met you , glad to have loved

I slip into death loving you as fiercely as I did when I first met you

My love

My own…

My reflection

#TheLSRSeries Nnenna x @justwolfy_ : Unending Secrets

“Hey, I’m gonna get the brunette hottie’s attention rn” and Rose and I laughed about it cuz hey, I’m hella funny…and then it happened, this klutz bumped into me and my new outfit 😥 (yes 3-| I’m vain too, judge me; I dare you). “Damn son, watch where you’re go…………”, “I’m sorry, I was looking for homeroom…I’m new here”. Wow! He’s hot and his eyes…his gorgeous eyes. Lol, I’m not even a light skinned type person but nobody said you can’t adjust right??

Andrew.

Sigh. Once again, I’m going to be the new guy. Ever since Dad and Mum began to have issues in their marriage, I found myself being the victim of so many changes I wasn’t ready for. Changing schools was one of them.

Ultra was the third school I was enrolling in over the past year. I’d heard little about the school but I hoped for the best. ”Just head straight on and make the first left, you’ll be fine”, the janitor directed; I thanked the man and headed on. As I walked rather briskly across the hall, and sorted the documents I would need for clearance, I kept thinking of how things between my parents would end up; Good I hope. As I made the left the janitor mentioned, I bumped into this girl and spilled her drink. ”I’m so sorry” I said as I reached for my papers that had also escaped my grip after the collision. ”Damn son, watch where you’re going!” she yelled. On one hand, I could understand her frustration. On the other, I’m wondering why she was being aggressive, Mum said to treat every lady right, so I apologised. ”Sorry, I’m new Here. I’m looking for homeroom”.

Sierra.

“Sierra! Si-er-ra!!!!!”. I swear Rose better have a pretty damn good reason for cutting me off…(Uhm…:$ good God why am I smiling so hard?!). ”Hey, I didn’t mean to be rude, you’re new yh??, I’m Sierra…”, but his eyes got me feeling some typa way already. ”I’m heading for homeroom too”. Rose shoves me, just to remind me that we were together before tall, light and handsome disrupted that; ”Oh,:$ (I should really stop smiling so hard) this is my friend Rosalie, we’re going to homeroom, you should tag along” (Yes, Jesus yes!!). He’s been smiling at me this whole time…or Rose…I hope it’s me 😦 I’m smiling too hard for it not to be me.

Andrew.

“Haha, yes I’m new, that’s what I just said. I’m Andrew”

“We’re heading to Homeroom. You can tag along” Sierra said. At least she can be nice, I thought as I walked with the girls to wherever homeroom was going to be. There was something confident about Sierra that made me feel some type of way, I’m terribly shy when it comes to girls but God blessed me with good looks so most of the time, they come to me and do more of the talking. That way, my problem is half solved. Confident girls were the tough to be around for me; you can imagine the effect confident beautiful girls would have on me.

Sierra.

The walk to homeroom felt like a freaking mile for something that’s like what?? Not so long. I still can’t believe I can’t talk to Andrew and Rose is already acquainted with him. I prayed homeroom was close by cos I had nothing to say as we moved. I was about asking if they went to school here but that was easily the “daftest” idea I’ve had all my life.

He must think I’m a shy person; and before you say anything, I’m far from shy. I sang on the damn cafeteria table just to prove that last semester. ”Hey, we’re here!!”. At least Rose’s seemingly shrill voice broke the silence, I’ve never been happier to see homeroom.

Andrew.

“Alright, thank you . I’ll see you around” I said as I made my way in. Night came quite fast. I was still unpacking when Steve, my imbecile cousin told me to go with him to some rave somewhere on campus.

Sierra.

”So Sii, are you going to that rave party tonight? Jax said it’ll be epic…” Ah Jax, my party animal nigga. I really am always expected to show up at these things, but right now all I can think about is Andrew. ”Sureeee Rose, I’ll go. I mean I haven’t seen Jax in a minute”.

Andrew.

The rave looked really bomb, music was blasting, drinks were flowing, so many babes around but I still felt out of place. ”Bruhhhh, let’s go crazzzyyyy” Steve shouted as he dragged me into the crowd; Steve and I are more brothers than cousins.

Steve and I have always liked to live our lives on the edge. Well, steve lived his life on the edge I just followed him to make sure he didn’t get into trouble. Steve and I are just 30 minutes into the party and he is already hooking up with a random babe. That was how he rolled. I’m still trying to figure out if I want to stay for this rave or leave. I need to rest anyway. I’m on my way out when I see sierra and rose walk in. I pause, try to gain my balance. Darn! This sierra babe is beautiful! I think to myself but then again, being the shy type I was just going to look at her all through and not say a word. “Hi. Andrew, right?” I couldn’t believe she said hi to me. “Yeah, Sierra?” I asked like I didn’t know. We get to talking and at first I just think after a while I’ll bore her and she’d get tired of me and say goodnight but to my surprise we really clicked. We are seated outside at the back in a corner where it’s just us; we’re quite at a distance from the party scene. I just keep on staring at her, wondering to myself how can someone be this beautiful, but then I didn’t want to freak her out or make her seem I was being rude by staring at her. When she laughed I could listen to it for a life time and she had perfect set of white teeth. I’m not stupid, I know she’s far from perfect but this is where I want to be. Was I sure about this? Yes I was. We talked about life, history, music, sports. I mean, I could talk about sports with her! This was a sign! Then there’s this awkward silence. Thinking to myself what to say or do to break it but nothing is coming to my mind. I know I’m more fun than this but this girl had me in a way I couldn’t explain. I look at her and she blushes. “You’re very beautiful.”, she says thank you and then tells me she has a test in the morning and it was getting late. I look at my watch and it’s 1:00am. “Woah! I didn’t know time had gone this much”. She tells me goodnight and she leans in for a hug. We hug and then neither of us want to break it off. I look at her while she’s still in my arms and out of no where I kiss her slowly. Oh! Her lips are so soft! The cold had made them dry but hopefully I was about to change that. She kissed me back and in an instant we’re kissing each other with so much passion and venom. Her lips had a distinctive taste but then I couldn’t describe it. She really starts to respond and oh I really want this. We lean against a tree and she starts to unbutton me. Is this really happening I’m thinking to myself, but I’m not stopping if she’s not. She tears my shirt when she realizes they weren’t unbuttoning fast enough. I tear her top and her nipples are so percky and pink! I go straight for them and slip them in my mouth. She let’s out a moan of freedom and ecstacy. She unbuckles and unzips my pants and I do the same for hers. I slip my fingers into her pussy and she lets out a slient cry. Oh! The warmth! I go down on my knees and start to eat that pussy like it’s lobsters with hot sauce or pancakes with honey! I grab her ass. They’re so soft. Her legs are over my shoulder. I continue eating her out and then I start to feel her wetness on my tongue! Flowing like a stream! I get up and slowly go deep inside of her! She bites my neck and I press in harder and I slowly go in and out and this feeling is indescribable! Her pussy is so tight and good I know I’m about to cum. I normally can go an hour without cummin’ but this girl had me in another world entirely. I continue going in and out but faster this time and then we start to look into each others eyes. She’s moaning a lot more now and I start to make sounds I’ve never heard myself make. Could this be …….. Ahhhhhhh … I had cum and so had she! We pause for a second to take all what just happened in. I’m still inside her and I can feel her pussy pulsating. She starts to dress up and yes, her top was torn so I give her my shirt to cover up and she wears it and runs away. I know this is a stupid thing to think but, I might be in love.

Sierra.

Wait, what just happened?! I mean, not that I didn’t like it and all but what the hell just freaking happened?!!!!!!! All these questions buzzed through my already hazy mind as I walked back to my dorm without Rose. I had my music, but I needed Rose right now to take my mind off things before I began to reminisce over the past hour…ROSE. So I’m in my room, in my bed, still in Andrew’s shirt. I let his name escape in what was more like a hushed tone and touched my arm simultaneously. I like the way my body felt when he touched me…when he kissed me…when he was inside me… I can literally still feel him on me, but we kissed :$ that was exactly what I wanted. That was all I wanted really but may the heavens be against me if I had dared to stop him. He didn’t stop me…hell, he couldn’t stop himself, so how was he supposed to stop me?! Damn I wish he were here, I wouldn’t be touching on myself right now, I’d prolli be too busy riding on him to even remember that and….shit!! My test! So here’s the thing with me, I’m smart and I’m the girl your boyfriend wants to be with. In my glasses I could take over a courtroom, without my glasses, well that’s a walking sex-icle right there. So I bust out the books and get to reading because history really isn’t one of my favorite subjects in the world, but I have to pass and all (No, not for the honour roll whatever but because, beauty is only skin deep); I couldn’t say that without laughing too. ”Girl, where’d you run off to?? The party was mad awesome!!” Rose was almost yelling because Jax had destroyed everybody’s ear drums at his rave, but it’s a party right?? So me and Rosie get to reading but damn I JUST WANT TO BE WITH ANDREW RIGHT NOW.

 

Morning. Even in my sleep this boy still makes me wet…I want him…I want him a lot.

#TheLSRSeries @the_scribbler_ : I WANT YOU

I want you like a young lion lusts for his first game.

I want to be the softness that induces you to trust.

I want to be the naughty that makes you come back for more.

The nasty that drives you insane…

I want to be the punishment that has you begging please,

Simply baby,

I WANT YOU.

I want to please you each and every day.

Leave your body trembling like you just met an earthquake.

It was you in my mind when I thought of pleasure marinated in perfection.

It was you I pictured beneath the sheets.

We’re fighting our resistance as the wind flows from the window like it’s watching us.

Our eyes briefly meet,

I see the hunger in your eyes.

Your body responds and my lips take your nipples, the warmth of my mouth against your flesh.

Your body moves responsively, begging for a chance.

Your moans begin to overshadow the quietness of the room.

I want your mind and soul to drown with desire the next time I walk by you.

I wet my finger in your mouth as I begin to write my name between the mounds of your full breasts.

I want you…

To look into my eyes.

Feel the awakening and arousing whispers auctioned in passion.

I want to give you pure pleasure,

The kind that causes a rippling effect…

Tenderness…

Madness…

This hunger within,

It’s pure pleasure.

I will let a little breeze out my mouth between your legs,

Soft, gentle, tingly breeze.

I’ll leave you speaking tongues of love,

You’ll write me love poems baby.

See, I WANT YOU.

Let me have you, let me have you just for one night,

Surrender to my demands.

Your existence ignites my desire.

You are the trigger to my libido.

Let my fingers run through your hair.

Receive me…

It is what my soul craves for,

My soul longs for your body

To have a fore taste of eternity….

Simply put,

I WANT TO FUCK YOU

#TheLSRSeries Iavi : Side Nigga Stories Episode 2

…It was late in the evening but Francis stepped out for the first time that day. The birds sparingly punctuated the skies as the cities highrises censored the sun and the sidewalks were packed full of commuters. Each step he took was carefully calculated to avoid physical contact; he wasn’t a fan unless it was with someone familiar. He maneuvered his was through the cluster, aimless yet in a hurry…he sought an escape. The previous night he had done something seemingly routine, but there was a difference. He had never cum in her before. He reveled in this at the time, but it faded as the moon gave way to the dreary sun. It was as though he made an involuntary trade; his load for a conscience. He felt dirty and resented himself for cuming in her, for taking what was not his. He didn’t like to fvck girls in relationships, sometimes he would get up and walk into a different room to kill the tension and just hang out after a while because most of them were his close friends. He muffled his cuss filled screams as he walked. He knew he had crossed a line and for the first time in a while felt the urge to atone. Ideas didn’t look twice before they crossed his mind. Some silly,some sane, but they all pointed to the same thing. He needed a permanent reminder to eliminate or at least reduce the chances of an encore and he decided he was going to get one in the form of a tattoo. With the hope of redemption he took in the panoramic view of the city as well as a deep breath, he seemed certain that a tattoo would help keep him in check. He asked around the neighborhood and in no time at all found what he was looking for. “INK inc.” the banner read, and under that “read the writing on the wall“…he obeyed and noticed two bright red words on the wall by the door. “No Refunds“. He smirked as he entered…

The receptionist directed him to the waiting room and then to an artist after a while. According to the pamphlet he picked up, they had a personal touch to their tattoos; you describe the event that led to your decision to get a tattoo, the artist illustrates your story as best she/he can and only if you approve would it then go on your skin. So he narrated, and after a very honest ramble he noticed that the artist never sketched, instead she looked at him a certain type of way, he caught her staring but she didn’t give a shit, her eyes were locked on his face. He wasn’t sure if she was disgusted or intrigued. He told her in detail everything about last night and highlighted his regret but it seemed she missed the point…she was frozen in thought. She finally picked up a pen and her sketchpad, but her fingers movements suggested she was writing not sketching, “not too loud” it read. Suddenly she picked up a pin and stuck it in him, “AHH!” he yelled, but as instructed. Why would she do that? She’s probably disgusted at the sight of me, he thought to himself. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?” asked the receptionist. “I’m fine, just a littl…” , the receptionist interrupted him “Scribbler, don’t cost us a customer! Clean up the blood and go get him stitched up. Sir I apologize, she’s one of our best, this has never happened before. She’ll fix you up. So sorry!” ,”It’s fine”. She picked her sketchpad and took him to the locker room where there was a huge First Aid kit, she sat him down, sat across his legs right on his crotch and kissed him. He was surprised. Muscle memory kicked in as he stood her up, bent her over the waist high First Aid Box, grabbed her callipygian ass, pulled down her pants, pulled her undies sideways and trusted into her already wet pussy. “YES!” she said “FVCK ME LIKE YOU FVCKED HER! OWN THAT PUSSY! …YES DADDY, OH FVCK!”. He went faster and harder, her moans were blaring now. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “not too loud“.

#TheLSRSeries @justwolfy_ : As You Are

I take you as you are,

But vulnerability is all this heart fears.

Trying to convince me to drop my guard,

Only makes them go way higher.

Afraid to be free in this thing called love,

Like a spell of unexplainable retraction was cast on me,

Itrust you but not certain about this heart.

Does love really not wane?

Does tiredness never really set in?

Does pain really not follow?

Does the mind really never become hollow?

My words are continually loyal to the extent of pain.

In a world of give and take,

You give me your love and still I take.

The world may be blinded by these words but yet I say them.

In a world of having to deplete to replenish,

You replenish the depleted.

Your smile will heal this hurt but won’t take the scars away.

Your Arms will never hurt, but is that for certain?

Your heart is ever giving,

But me not giving the love that you need will make you yearn,

For a heart that is ever in need of taking.

Weekend Special: Day 6

*Insert Hand Wave*
Yess Yess y’ll…
You know what’s up…
You know what it is…
How we do it…

Okay… I’m just yarning dust. Here’s everything we brought you this weekend ☺☺

#TheLSRSeries Mr. Nathus: Dairy of a lonely teenager
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#TheLSRSeries Lazy Writer: The ‘Ghey’ Factor Part2
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#TheLSRSeries Korede Kolawole: Memories (of Her)
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Remember to share… Don’t be stingy

#TheLSRSeries Mima H. ft Korede Kolawole: Memories (of Her)

To every living thing she was bewitching.

Her cosmic uncertain eyes and tantalizing lips.

The sweet words she spoke danced in my ears.

Everyone knew her delightful smell and watched as her idle feet walked while the wind kissed her gorgeous hair.

Her symmetrical hips and astonishing breasts made the women demented.

She was and is still an addiction.

And the sight of her is forever toxic to men.

-Korede K. & Mima. H.

#TheLSRSeries Mr. Nathus: Dairy of a lonely teenager

Being a guy like me has never been an easy task but then that’s what I do or should I say it’s the only thing I can do. Okay enough about me! Where do I start from? Erhmm I guess I should start with the most recent. Jennifer, the only girl I could see myself getting married to. I remember when we first met, it feels like yesterday. I was the new kid in school and I was desperately looking for a way to make an impression everywhere I found myself. Everywhere I went I kept hearing about a certain girl, the prettiest girl in school who had a British accent and who was also the best female singer in school, plus she was a straight A student. Coincidentally my bunk mate Jason happened to be her cousin and he told me tales of their adventures together and I could tell she was very special. Now, I wasn’t pretty much good at anything (at least not exceptionally), so I kept pondering on how on earth I would make an impression. And then I thought about coming up with a lie that could get me her attention, and then it came to me in two words “Music Producer”.

Now I told Jason that I was great at making beats randomly because I knew he wasn’t the type that kept any information to himself. By the time I woke up the next morning, the news about a supercool and talented producer had spread like wild fire and that person happened to be me, Ekene the new kid. That afternoon I even got invited to the cool kids table to talk about joining the group of singers and rappers because in my school the cool kids where those with talents and the music guys where the coolest of them all. I played it cool and acted like I wasn’t too interested but I was willing to see what they have to offer and they agreed. Someone even suggested we should all meet at the basketball court that evening. Half of the time I wasn’t really paying attention because there she was, the girl of my dreams, sitting adjacent to me, but then I couldn’t help but notice the guy who seemed to have all her attention and was effortlessly making her laugh the whole time. His name was Jeremy the so called “best rapper” in school. I didn’t even like his stage name “Mc rhymes”, it sounded so vague and meaningless. I mean what kind of dumb stage name is that? Pfft!! The worse part of it all was that I couldn’t help but imagine being him, the guy Jennifer was seated next to and was making her laugh so hard that tears trickled down her face….”Ekene!!!!” “Yes?” I said, jolting out of my day dream. “So are you gonna be at the court by 6?” It was Kadija Basma, the very light skinned and attractive girl who also happened to be the leader of the pack, she was even best friends with Jennifer. I knew if I was cool with her then I could be friends with Jennifer although I could sense she didn’t really like me and I was guessing it was the others that talked her into talking to me. Kadija was a very proud girl. On the other hand why wouldn’t she be?! She was one of the richest kids at school.

6 ‘o clock came and I was ready because I had gone and practiced my beat boxing. I had a plan to beat box some beats that I’ve heard before and they weren’t too popular songs so I knew I’d get away with it. Finally, I got on the court and they were all there, in my mind it was show time. They all did their various performances for me and I tried to match the different beats that I had practiced all afternoon to their performances and they all loved it. The fools, I had them all eating out of my hand and the best part of it all was that Jennifer loved it too but Jeremy was still in the way!!! Then the unthinkable happened while we were taking a break, Jennifer came over and started talking to me! Butterflies filled my stomach, the moment that I had been waiting for ever since I first heard her name and I couldn’t help but wonder, did she just suddenly just like me? Like I knew she liked me already because of the beat boxing and all but I really wondered if she liked me, liked me…you know. “Ekene! Hey come over here” said Jeremy I was sorta afraid that Jeremy had probably noticed the twinkle in my eyes while listening to Jennifer speak about how much she loved music. “Go on, go talk to him” Jennifer said so I walked over and Jeremy said to me “Hey, I got an idea for a song I need you to make a beat for me so I can rap to everybody” and I said “Okay”. I started the beat and he said “Yo! Yo! Yo! Err’body listen up” and then he started rapping. In my mind I wondered why is this guy getting so much attention?! All his lines were so corny if you asked me, oh well. He kept on rapping and walking towards me with his irritating walking step. He called it his “swag walk” but that’s a story for another day. He got to Jennifer and then got on one knee and then he said it, “Will you be my girlfriend?”. Everybody was surprised, even Jennifer was surprised. Kadija shouted “Like, Oh my Gosh! Jennifer say something”. I was totally in shock, what the hell am I about to witness here? and then she said it. The three letter word any guy wants to hear from the lady he is in love with, a yes.

Yes, Jennifer and Emmanuel where officially an item and I just helped the guy who took my one shot at love away from me.

Today on #theLSRseries: Day 5

#theLSRseries Nnenna: Broken
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#theLSRseries @EarnyD__:  Why it Took Me Over an Hour to Buy Fuel
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#theLSRseries @EarnyD__: X
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#theLSRseries @EarnyD__: X

I’m at home, sitting in the front seat watching the rain drops strike my front glass with all the anger of the Gods. I feel like I’ve offended them anyways cause these days life has become so hurtful. Maybe it’s because I’m 21, you know how they say we 21 year Olds feel too mature and try to act it but we are not it. Well after how this summer has turned out, I’m beginning to think I’m at that stage and that statement is true. Again I look up and I remember I’m stuck in the rain, I got an umbrella right next to me but going in doesn’t seem like an option…  I don’t want to go on, if I do, I’d be lonely, I’d lie alone, no one to talk to, all by myself, alone with my thoughts, thoughts of you, those thoughts would kill me. I know this and for once I feel like I’m finally accepting my greatest fear…  Being alone, which sadly, is exactly how I feel without you. Dropping you off today without telling you how I really felt must have been the most stupid decision of my life, but I can’t b3 blamed, you know I wasn’t brought up that. I never learnt how to show emotions but somehow you knew too well that I loved you with all of me and you never needed me to remind you. No one ever knew me like you, and now that you’re walking away, I don’t think anyone would. Why did we ever end it? We had the future planned… “Earnest and Katherine” they would have been our firsts…  Our lives would have been perfect..

Enough of the muttering, I’d pick up my phone and tell th3 world about you before I walk in to cry my sorrows away. 

My Mystery Girl “X”
After breaking up from my 2 year long relationship my goal was simple, spread as many legs as the bed could handle. I knew it wasn’t going to b3 easy, but I’d definitely be a disgrace to my father if that counted as an issue for me, so I set up for the task ahead. I would start out by making a list of all the girls I knew, the categories where quite straight forward

1. Legs I have no chance of spreading. 
2. Legs I had a chance of spreading.
3. Legs I could definitely spread anytime anywhere

Next step is to cut off everyone in group one and focus my attention on 2 and 3, which due to my very high level of averageness and my ability to gravitate steadily to the friendzone, meant I well under 4 girls in my life. Truth was, I really couldn’t give a shit, at that point, I was focused on drowning the sorrows of my previous relationship in as many females as I could find.

Time would eventually pass and my struggle would progress with great positives. I went out, I hung out with friends, and I met new girls. It was on one of those hang out with old friends that I got to meet her, yes “X”. Her boobs immediately ministered the gospel to me. Yes, I said that. The lacked ass but her very fine legs made the thought of handing one over my shoulder while I held her on the wall and twisted it in pleasurable. I could already hear her scream from the ecstasy I induced. At that singular moment, all I wanted was to show her a new level of grace.

We would eventually exchange contacts, everything that was going to make this as swift as possible. I wanted to ensure that I added you to the summer collection as quickly as I could. And you can’t blame me, 34D is quite a lot to not be inspired. I would be lying if I say I don’t remember our…

******

*Knocks on Car window*
“Daniel! Where is the paint we sent you to buy”.

That’s my uncle, I have to go, we’d continue this sometime later 😘😘😘

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#theLSRseries @EarnyD__: Why it Took Me Over an Hour to Buy Fuel

So today was one of those days, not boring at all, no… Definitely not… Just without the general excitement and expectation that had characterised the other days of my summer. Just like the 12 remake of super man that nobody gave a shit about :'(:'(:'( I had seen enough of the summer turn up and all I wanted was to go back to school (Don’t judge me. You all know you want that too). Unknown to me, this was all about to change, and it would start from a harmless how are you text from my ex 😁😁😁… As a good opportunity had dropped by, man’s did not waste time dropping a good reply. I sharply dropped the “I’m cold reply” and long story short, this turned into a booty call in some 5 messages. Problem at this juncture people of God was… I was recently banned from using any of the cars and being an emergency quicky, a friend’s house was not available… So the car was a necessity 😥😥😥😥
At this point, a voice spoke into my head and I followed. Quickly reminded my parents that we’d need fuel tonight so well, I got the key 😁😁😁

******

The drive there was less than 5 minutes. Not cause it was close by, but man’s had all the dedication of the 7 God’s of westeros  😁😁😁 (I’m just saying, if the Biafrans fought with the dedication I used to drive there….). I arrived like 6:37pm and man’s was wasting no time. I knew I originally had less than 20 minutes to buy the fuel so we had to get down to business. Now this girl in question has got to be one of my favorite exs. Her 34DDs where an inspiration to my soul. I wanted to hold them close and squeeze them tight everytime I came close. To make this worse, she knew it, and she’d always tell me after I choked her during an orgasm that I’d never find a girl with boobs as awesome as hers if I eventually kill her. Though debatable, you’d agree I literally won’t be in a position to argue after cumming.

Spotting a patterned crop top I could see her boobs stretch every inch of the fabric while the bum Shot made sure her legs reminded me of what I was about to get. Being a SAVAGE I had packed in an empty church car park beyond the view of everyone so immediately she got in, we went straight to business. I did well to take off her lipstick to make my intentions known. Then I whispered slowly “You’re going to pay for the stress you put me through” before I began to play with her ears while I ran my hands up her thighs which layed bare in the open. By the time my left hand got up to the buttons of the short, I had already popped her bra with the other and I could the boobs pop up on my chest as she pulled me closer. To my surprise she was going commando which made me extra sure she expected this as much as I did.

Immediately the shorts gave way…  I picked her up and dropped on the back sit and proceeded to join her… (Now I know most of you who know me in person would find such displays of human power hard to believe… Well. Feck you 😛😛😛 It’s my story) she’d quickly sit right over me, Jalabiya up asap, she slowly let it slid in while she let out a slight moan. Pushing her backwards… She started ridding slowly making sure she hit the spots with every thrust….

As the Lord inspired I would continue

:):):)

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#theLSRseries Nnenna: Broken

It tingles when you touch me like that
Goose pimples flirt with my skin when you say my name like that
I get lost in ecstasy when you kiss me the way you do
Speech eludes me when you look at me like that
In other words my love,I need you.

I need you to make me feel relevant
I need you to put me out of my misery
I need you to be the color to my blank canvas of an existence
Be the rhythm I dance to in my fantasies baby please
I want to you to love me.

You’re everything I imagined love would taste like
You make me smile even when there’s no reason to
You’ve given me the life I only see in those cheesy romance movies
You’ve given me a reason not to die
You’re the thing I feared the most but yet I’m so comfortable in my nightmares.
I love you boo…

I love my music

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Today on #theLSRseries: Day 4

#theLSRseries LazyWriter: The ‘Ghey’ factor
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-EO

#theLSRseries Beracah: Noontime Musings
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-EQ

#theLSRseries Udeme: The Need to Get High
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-ES

#theLSRseries Udeme: The Need to Get High

The NEED to get high
The search for the euphoric feeling that overwhelms us and takes our minds off the stress and troubles of life.
The “cruise” as it is often called.
Taking you to places you never dreamed existed.
Making you do things that were once only heard of in Ancient Barbarian times.
The feeling takes over you, turns you into a beast.
She squirms and begs you to stop, but you don’t listen.
Your mind is in another place, far beyond human reasoning.
You beating this pussy up like you shakeesha. (If you haven’t watched the video then ur last carrying is legendary!)
The loud but soft rhythms of The Weeknd’s “Earned it” eclipsing her loud screams of ecstacy and pleasure.
“FUCK JIMMY!!” she screams, vibrating and squirting all over the bed, and the only thing you found yourself  thinking was, “What side of the bed am I gonna sleep on now?”
Her lips moved but no words came out.
The vibration has reduce significantly by now but still very sensitive. (That’s the best way I can describe it I swear.)
She moved and finally words came out,
“You’re a bastard.
You had done it again??”
My 420 and sprite, the most lethal combination.

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#theLSRseries Beracah: Noontime Musings

Crazy about you, yes I am.
Of course you know it, who doesn’t?
The way you smile. Yes, the way you smile.
I know it sounds cliché but the way you smile.
Damn babe!
Your facial expressions, yes those ones.
How easy it is for me to lose myself just staring at your beauty.
The intensity with which you make me want to love you.
Your risibility which is a welcome trait since it’s already known that I laugh too damn much.
The warm friendship and passionate loving.
And those hugs, Lord, those hugs!
I therefore will say it as often as I can
Crazy about you, yes I am!

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#theLSRseries LazyWriter: The ‘Ghey’ factor

I’m usually not a birthday party person; in fact, I don’t attend birthday parties, unless the friend is mighty important. I met Andre at one of such important birthday parties, tall, really dark curly hair and teeth so white CLOSE UP needed this guy…and oh, did I mention his smile? Andre had this smile that could calm the storm. Yeah, I’m exaggerating. So what? So there I was, sitting at a table sipping Smirnoff, face buried in my phone pretending I wasn’t bored as fuck, then I heard a voice with a slightly thick igbo accent close to the table say hello; I looked up from my phone to see this good looking guy smiling at me. I smiled back and said “hi” and he asked if he could occupy one of the other vacant seats on the table. I agreed.
He took the seat and we got talking. He then introduced himself as ‘Andre’; yeah right! A posh name with an igbo accent, his name was probably Andrew but I wasn’t about to slam him, someone was finally speaking to me. He told me he was a friend to the celebrant’s boyfriend and I told him the celebrant was my friend. As the conversation wore on, I started smiling, even laughing at things he was saying, he really was a sweet guy. One thing I didn’t particularly appreciate was his voice; coupled with the accent, his voice was quite feminine, it wasn’t macho in the least bit and now that I think about it, nothing about Andre was macho; I just didn’t see it then.
Anyways, we danced, or should I say, he danced and I just fumbled around, I’m not exactly a beautiful sight to watch when dancing but I was having quite a nice time. The party was from 5pm until mama called, it was 7pm and my mama was already calling incessantly, yes my mama is tiring like that. I ignored her calls for a while because the party was just beginning to get really interesting, the mood got naughty and they were about to play truth or dare. Everyone stopped dancing and gathered round for the game. Normally I wouldn’t participate as it could end up absolutely embarrassing, but not today. The alcohol and the mood were coddling me fiercely and in my head I was like “yeahh bring it on!”.
As luck would have it, the ‘bottle’ going around did not get to me at any time; it did stop on Andre though who was sitting beside me and I was excited for both of us -funny how I already thought of it as ‘us’ when I only just met him like an hour earlier on. Anyways, he got up and picked a number, a number 8 if I remember correctly and I do remember correctly. I also remember the exact words the “MC” used; “Pick out a girl and French kiss her”. The manner in which Andre’s face contorted after hearing the dare assured me that if he were white or maybe light skinned, his face would have taken up a crimson shade, but he wasn’t so his face just got really weird and for a second there I thought he was going to cry or Heaven forbid throw up.
You could absolutely see the smirks on everyone’s faces and they began to laugh and cheer him on to pick out a girl and just kiss her. I tried to catch his attention, to tell him that it was alright and he could pick me but he wouldn’t look up. “What was the big deal in a kiss?” I thought. To the disappointment of all present, myself especially, Andre brought out his wallet, and paid the fine for not carrying out the dare. He slowly walked to his seat, threw a wavering smile my way and focused on watching the game, not saying a word to me.
After about twenty more minutes of frequent calls from mama, I gave up on stalling and decided to go home; firstly, because I definitely didn’t want to hear the story of my life, mothers have a way of making you shrivel on the inside with words alone, and secondly, the party had dulled quite a bit for me anyway, what can I say, I really wanted that kiss. I tapped Andre lightly on the shoulder and whispered that I was leaving. He got up as I did and we made our way outside since I couldn’t find the celebrant anywhere around, I texted her that I had left and wished her a happy birthday and that the party was really great.
Outside, Andre got back to gisting with me like nothing happened and I decided that it’s either he really thought nothing of his reaction back there or he didn’t want to talk about it, so I let it slide, two can play the game uno. We walked slowly to the bus stop where I would take a bike and we exchanged contacts, promising to keep in touch. Luckily for me, when I got home mama was in a good mood as she was watching a comedy movie on africa magic; she just answered my greetings and said “e ku irin o”, it’s a sarcastic way of saying “waka waka” in Yoruba lnaguage. I joked with her for a while before going into the room thinking I would bathe then maybe eat but as soon as my body touched the bed, I passed out; I didn’t even take off my clothes, some party huh?!

***
Same time next week

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Today on #theLSRseries: Day 3

#theLSRseries Korede: Memories
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-EI

#theLSRseries Yakubu : Ring Road Adventures
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-EK

#theLSRseries Iavi: Side Nigga Stories (SNS)
http://wp.me/p38Ypn-EM

#theLSRseries Iavi: Side Nigga Stories (SNS)

“Stop it. I’m serious. I don’t like how much control you have over me…please don’t do that. Don’t kiss me there. You’re crazy, I swear you’re fvcking cra…OH!!!…OH MY GOODNESS! OH DON’T STOP, DON’T STOP, DON’T EVEN TRY TO SLOW DOWN…SHIT…WHAT The Hell…IS THAT YOUR TONGUE!!? Fvck it! Get in there…shit, oh hell yes…Yeah yeah yeah yeaaah!!! I’m about to…keep going… I’m about to cum…yeah yeah…the fvck!…why are you stopping? Did I do something wrong? Wait!…Please wait! Where the fvck you going? You can’t leave now!…What did I do?! What ever it is, I apologize, just come back. Please, please come back. Come put your lips where they were before. Come do what you were doing before, make me feel as I’ve never felt before… Fvck. Please don’t step out of this room. I can’t handle not having some part of you in me right now…please…Please!!! I’m fvcking rambling… don’t let this fade…I want this…so fvcking bad. I want this…you…us…in this moment I’ll do anything… just don’t leave me like this…*taking off her clothes* Look, I’ll do anything you want…you can do anything you want. I’m not about to leave here without your cum in all my holes. Please, I’m fvcking naked asking you to do something, anything to me.
     He turns around and holds her gaze; she had the body of a Nubian deity. Tears in her big brown eyes, her skin glistening like it was bathed in honey and hair dark as his intentions for her pussy. He softly kissed on her ear and whispered, “tell me everything you want, then pray you survive the night”. She shuddered a little, goosebumps slowly appeared, she knew he was about to fvck her into a coma and she could not wait. Her nectar slowly revealed itself along her inner thighs, she wasn’t surprised as both her hands fit along the length of his veiny penis, she started tugging slowly as she replied, “Drown in my cum. Fvck me with your fingers, your tongue and tickle my clit all at once, grab my ass and impale my wet pussy, push my legs apart and thrust into me…then shove your dick down my throat as you fondle my nipples,pull my hair. Spank my ass. Bend me. Choke me. Break me. Fvck me! Give me everything before you go. I want it all”.
     He picked her off the floor and set her gently on his dick with her legs on his arms and kissed her, she shook and moaned as she he slowly went deeper into her. He didn’t let her scream; he kissed her every time she tried. He pinned her to the wall and rammed her so hard she lost breath. She tried to grab something, with nothing in reach she grabbed him, then he put her boobs against the bed, pushed her legs about 100° apart, pulled her hair, placed soft kisses on her back and kept fvcking her. She started twerking with him still in her, he went deeper and harder into her, gently choking her, spreading her ass cheeks and drilling her, “FUCK!” she screamed as she approached climax for the 6th time that night, “Cum in me.” she said. “I thought only your boyfriend came in you!?” he replied. She took his dick out, licked, tugged, sucked and squeezed, Holy fvck!!!, he was cuming. She suddenly took his cock out of her mouth and put it in her pussy…all of it. She started tightening it and grinding on him, he was loosing his mind. “Anyone who gives me multiple orgasms, who can fvck me to tears…who…who can do what you did as well as you did it deserves to cum in me anytime”. She pulled him out of her and tasted his cum as it dripped, then called her boyfriend to pick her up.  

****
Same time next week :):)

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#theLSRseries Yakubu : Ring Road Adventures

As a young man, there are things that a young man finds appealing; driving nice cars, getting money, having a lot of females around you (specifically bad bitches), getting high (for those that are into that kinda shit 🚬💊🍻), etc. You think you are living life…until cultist kee you 😩😪.
This summer was completely uneventful for the most part. That is, until I went to Jos. Jos is a place where you can flex but..you know…with three eyes open (you go like find 3rd eye because 2 no fit help you locate boko boys😩). As a parol boy I spent most of my time at the University of Jos off campus site also known as Ring Road. Ring Road is a fun place to be at, very lively…until 7pm knack 😐 my brother, you go like resurface for your room cuz stray bullet no get GPS. You will just be walking jeje drinking your pure water and next thing you know John the Baptist is telling you to remain small
for him:?.
     That being said I had to get my orientation on how to behave, since you know, CU student, and my greatest problem was how to dodge council bus not how to doge bullet:|. To make matters worse, the girls there were extremely provocative and they all had this look, this, “approach at own risk” vibe going on. On one of my visits to see my guys, Tito and I went to buy kush (for those who dont know what kush is just leave this page now :|) and where we went is a hostel full of badt guys (I’m to scared to use the…you know…C word 😥). After getting what we came for I saw a light skinned, beautiful girl walk by. It’s sad she was flat so my interest cut by about 50%. I asked Tito, “Bruh, who’s this girl?” and he screamed! “Guy! Don’t go there oh! You see this place, they are badt guys! That means there are also badt girls! You want make them arrange you?” Ever since then I didn’t have the liver to talk to babe again o. I could only look but not talk to anyone unless any of my friends introduced me to a girl then I can talk with caution- The experience was so sad. My routine was to come, play fifa, drink and smoke then leave. This countued till my penultimate visit to Ring Road.
     My very good friend Nanle; we’ve know each other for over 10 years which included church and secondary school, took me to his friends room which unluckily for me is in the hostel of the badt guys from the other day with Tito. This girl, who happens to be his ex girlfriends best friend surprisingly was my junior in secondary school but I didn’t know her at the time. Her name is Fausy. When I entered the room I saw what I haven’t seen in a very long time, a girl who was drop dead gorgeous without makeup! Not to mention she had a great rack and killer ass! I was instantly smitten (or maybe it was the konji :roll:) I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t care bout the other two girls in the room, not even Fausy; the owner of the room. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to know this girl, I didn’t care if a badt guy or even a Capone is her boyfriend, I will fight for this babe! *In Kanu Nwankwo’s voice* “I was determined to never give up! Jayke! It’s in you.” (Wait let’s not get carried away, I’m skinny. All these talk na special effects 😂:|) I asked her name and she said Feyin. She’s a PH babe who was born and bred in Jos. Before I could start up a conversation with her she took off to go and eat pounded yam 😨! Ah, no chill! I asked, “That’s how you are going to leave me here?”, she replied and said “She would be back”.Ladies and gentlemen, she did not come back 😩😭.
     I knew what to do. I’d collect Fausy’s number and through her I’d get close to Feyin. Immediately I got back home I had to send Fausy a message on whatsapp. After the usual boring hello chitchat I went straight to the point.
“How is Feyin?”
“She’s not around.” she replied.
“She went home for weekend.”
This couldn’t be the end, I said to myself knowing my stay in Jos was coming to an end, and then I remembered the violent taketh it by force! ‘Seize the bae!’ 😤🔥! I lifted up my eyes to Zeus and asked for the strength of Hercules! (*Sigh!* If only I had this same enthusiam about my studies, my CGPA won’t be in need of Instagram filter 😪)
I had to do something. Even if it means going back another day just to look for her, I would. A few days later I called up Nanle and told him to meet me at Ring Road. In typical Nanle fasion he came an hour late. After spending sometime with the guy, we decided to go see the girls, Fausy was there but Feyin was nowhere to be found. Disappointed I didn’t see her, I asked Nanle we should leave, but first….’Let me take a selfie’ 😂💃🏽. One selfie turned to two. Two turned to three, then Fausy and Nanle showed up and it was group picture time. Then I heard a distinct voice shouting some stupid nonsense, who could this retard be?, I thought to myself.
     There she came, walked out with her oversized bathroom slippers, a crop top and a jacket with scattered hair looking like an angelic housegirl 😩. She could have come out with hides & skin, skirt made out of leaves & dreadlocks and I would still find her attractive and probably say something stupid like “cave woman on fleek 💅🏽😍🔥”, God I was whipped 😪. At that point I was high as a kite so you know, I sold my fucks for 30 pieces of silver. I grabbed her and forced her to take the selfies with us, she reluctantly agreed but she kept saying she looked ugly and she wanted to stay at the back. As a real G, I went to the back with her, no time, then she told me how she was in 100 level and in my mind I was like, ‘yes Lord! You have smiled upon me today.🙌🏽💃’ all I had to do was tell her I was about to start my final year and she became interested. She told me how rain fell and water entered her phone, that the screen is blurry so she had to put her sim in ‘torch light’ phone and I told her, “Even if your phone is that old one where you have to put you finger inside a hole and roll it to dial eh, give me your number like that”, and of course she laughed hard. It was getting late so I decided to head home, but all this while I saw a guy watching us: especially me. What do I care? Fine babe with curves is giving me green light. Even the forces of darkness cannot cock block me mehn, I was charged up. I didn’t know I was heading for wahala. What was coming my way, I never hespererit 😨😩😪.
Stay tuned.

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#theLSRseries Korede: Memories

Joy on the day you met, tears on the day you were made one.
Sorrow on the day she died, tears on the day she was kept. Tears till now.
A lover’s memories will forever move him.
The sight of the sunset in all its glory, the smell of the meadow by which he took thee, the feel of the sun on his neck and the sound of his laughter which always brought comfort. All that dwells in the memory of the boy who once HAD the best father one could hope for. Now a man, he replays the memory in his head…not to sadden himself, stay sober or to keep his presence as that is the heart’s job, but to try, hard as he can to hear the laugh again with hopes that it would be just what he needs to continue. The memories will forever move him.
Memories are usually always worth keeping as even when they are horrific, they teach us and remind us that we can go through hell and back and still stay sane.

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Today on #theLSRseries : Day 2

Here’s a wrap of everything from today :):):)

@KvngZii : Untold https://t.co/qFqb6sUvmP

the_scribbler_ : The Mask You Live In http://t.co/w2IprpMLzm via @EarnyYarns

Shovel: Confessions – The Rapist https://t.co/xsEyruO3w0

Remember, Read, Like and Share

#theLSRseries @KvngZii : Untold

I like…no scratch that. I LOVE it when my boyfriend gets home from work before I do, it always leaves me guessing, “What’s going to happen today??”. I love that ‘being on edge’ feeling, especially when it’s James I feel that way about. The mushy ones get what I mean 😒. 
He grabs me the instant I walk in and all too easily his warm tongue goes right down my throat. My purse already fell the instant he touched me and right now, I’m too into this to even beg him to stop. I want him, I need him! Since I had anticipated this, I wore a skirt; the ‘Let every guy in my office look but they can’t touch’ skirt. I feel his already hard self press against my thighs, he schemes his way up my skirt and kisses my neck at the same time.

The neck kisses 😍

“James, I…ugh……..”
“Omigad…..”.

I swear I’m whispering into his ear, his trouser’s kinda wet already. I push him onto the couch, all the while I’m biting my lip (No no, this isn’t that 50 shades of grey baloney you wasted money on. No). I’m on my knees unbuckling him, I’m taking my time and baby boy’s getting ‘angsty’. “Baby stop playing these games. Let me please you.”, he tries to pull me up to him but I’ve already gotten his zipper down.
His dick sprouts up like a plant that has finally been exposed to sunlight. I look up at him and give the half smirk…he loves the half smirk. I take him in. I hear him moan………..

I’ll see y’all in part 2 😘

#theLSRseries the_scribbler_ : The Mask You Live In

The mask you live in,
The façade you put up,
The stories you make up,
The lies you tell all.
There’s real struggle behind that wall,
There’s sorrow behind those smiles,
There are tears masked by echoes of laughter,
The resonance of laughter in many troubles,
The unheard voices of your million problems…
But all love wants is to know you.
You’ve made your decision,
You’ll hide behind your clothes, your possessions.
You’ll constantly live with your guard so high.
What if love had short legs?
What if love was a little overweight?
What is love wanted straight forward?
Not some empty words and thoughtless actions.

The mask we live in.
Love let you in,
You explored,
You experienced,
You experimented.
You knew love inside out.
Love let you in,
You settled but your mask is still on.
One day love will get tired of having to solve all your actions like some puzzle.
Maybe one day love will say, “I can’t take it no more”.
Don’t let love walk away,
Take off your mask.
Don’t let love leave you behind,
Take off your mask.
Love may get weary one day,
Love will get weary one day,
Love will get up and leave one day,
And this will be because you didn’t let love see your face.
Take of your damn mask!

Today on #theLSRseries – Day 1

Here’s all three posts from today… Read, Like and Share 😘

@Beracah___ : Over You https://earnyyarns.wordpress.com/2015/08/02/thelsrseries-beracah___-over-you”

the_scribbler_ : Imaginations – Pussy Dairies 1 https://earnyyarns.wordpress.com/2015/08/02/thelsrseries-the_scribbler_-imaginations-pussy-dairies-1”

@dat_CUbwoi : Quests of a Man Whore 1 https://earnyyarns.wordpress.com/2015/08/02/thelsrseries-dat_cubwoi-quests-of-a-man-whore-1”

#theLSRseries @dat_CUbwoi : Quests of a Man Whore 1

For a lack of a fitting adjective in human communication, I’d say my summer was going shitty. I wasn’t myself, not by a long shot; Hell! I expected I would be drowning in vaginas by the first week of summer. The box of condoms facing a possible expiration on my nightstand probably expected it too! I even thought I would have pregnancy scare at this point…but 3 weeks in, and I hadn’t gotten laid, if not for anything but a total lack of effort. Coming into the holiday I thought I’d get my he-goat mojo on. I’d just ended a relationship of sorts and expected the good old days back… yimu! If I hear. You pretty much become aware of the fact that you are dulling after your parents sit you down and ask if you are okay as a man and suggest a check-up…This sadly happened (no lies) 😥
I was just a sad twat for the first 2 weeks and was wondering what the fuck I was doing. I spent that 3rd week turning down every female my friends set me up with…sort of subconsciously hoping a clone of my ex (of sorts) pops up somewhere. And let’s not even get to the cyber stalking. *sigh* I was disgusted with myself. I was supposed to be a glorious man whore; hunting down females and sweet talking them into sleeping with me was meant to be my forte, but I was being a total tool. I rather spent my days mostly at a restaurant with my guys drinking over-priced coke and eating over-priced chicken while wailing about how I only wanted my ex (of sorts) back (of sorts). (It’s as complicated as it looks. I can’t explain, so don’t bother).
I was becoming a buzz-kill and I noticed that my guys were slowly drifting away. I won’t blame them though; I was becoming one sad fucker. I was heading out of the restaurant and pondering on whether to hail a cab or call my driver when I saw it…. that nyash!!! Dear Lord! It will be best to refer to Igbo here. “Ewooo! Ikebe dikwa mma! Chai!”. I couldn’t believe I was excited about nyash again; I wasn’t even thinking again. I got my ashawo self to the other side of the road and took notes. Shut up! Yes! I took notes! Where she lives, how she walks, even what she came to buy. I play no games, my people. Guess I was back! I returned to the restaurant and submitted the report to my guys based in town. Not for much, but just to confirm she is no minor (with all the Yerima jokes I cracked, I would be really messed up for me to screw a 16 year old, no matter the size of her ass).
The funny thing is: I’m not even an ass man! I’m more about boob, but there was something about that nyash that called to my innermost essence. Any nyash that can break me out of the funk I was in deserved to be treated like a deity. Running out of the restaurant after I hear that she isn’t just only over 18, but that I also know her (still don’t know where the nyash came from but who cares about where the miracle came from?) I walked up to her and in the most casual of ways, feigned surprise at seeing her. Like the pro that I was, I already got her number and bbm pin under 5 minutes without even asking…and then.…in my unbelievably charming way…I fucked up.
No! Stop thinking I farted or burped! I didn’t even sneeze so get your mind off that! What I did was rather worse: I took out my phone. The idiots reading this probably think I pulled out a Nokia 3310. No, it was a new s5 I had shanghaied my father to pay for before my results came through and I easily had 10k in my pocket. The big problem was: The little vermin kids on the street. Before you crucify me, let me expand a little on the lives of these kids. They call themselves “skolombo” and they are ruthless criminals. I am very serious. It’s not a joke. The oldest one was about 13 or 14, and they all had rusted blades that would certainly give you HIV. Before I could add up that rumbling bubble of a butt on BBM and start pushing the ‘p’ to the bedroom, these kids appeared from nowhere and started soliciting me in Efik. They even have a chant, as fucked up as it is: “ebo me phone….ebo me ekpat” loosely meaning “give me your phone …give me your wallet “.
Now it’s rather embarrassing to get mugged by a bunch of kids but when they are over 20 rusted blades pointed at you, and you sure as hell don’t want scars and probably a new type of Ebola, you give them everything you have. I may or may not have cried. But that is of sparse relevance because the babe I would have fronted for already pulled a move out of ‘The Flash’ on me. The bitch had left me faster than she would’ve if she suddenly heard I have AIDS.
After I was robbed penniless and a few tears, *looks away *, I found my way home. I guess I may soon get over my ex (sort of).

#theLSRseries the_scribbler_ : Imaginations – Dairies 1

So you get back from work and realize I already let myself in. I’m asleep, slouched on your couch. You put me in the right position because you care that my neck might hurt when I wake up. I wake up as you touch me and I smile at you. I asked you how work was, but I didn’t give you time to respond before I got on my knees fondling with the zipper of your trousers. I hear you cuss under your breath. I wasn’t sure if you were trying to stop me or heaving a sigh of relief knowing that I take pleasure in satisfying you.
Your trousers are down, your briefs just around your knees and I’m playing with the tip of your dick with my tongue. I hear you breathe heavily, but I’m still playing with it…I’m taking my time. I gently place my hands on your balls as I take your dick deeper into my mouth. I’m thrusting right now, but I’m still doing it slowly, I hear you mutter, “uh!”. While breathing slowly, I lift your dick up and take my tongue to your balls while jerking your dick with my hands. I’m becoming sloppy so I tell you to take a seat and I say, “Relax. I’m here to please… only please…”
You sit down slouching the way I like and I get to work. I’m on my knees as I take you in my mouth, every inch of you. I start to thrust in my mouth at a faster rhythm, I’m going faster and faster while my hands are massaging your balls. When your body jerks a little, I stop, look at you with a smile on my face that was seducing and saying, “You’re in trouble”. I start to walk away slowly, I turn around and you’re confused. I was sure you were thinking, “Why? Why did I leave you there like that? At this time especially”. You were going to say something, you didn’t know my agenda, I’ve never been this way before, I always let you take the lead but today was different. I was doing everything with full control and authority. You wanted to come, maybe take me from behind, but I said, “Don’t get up”, before I disappeared through the door.
I didn’t take me five minutes before I got back, this time, I was with whip cream and a bowl of melted chocolate. You knew what the whip cream was for, and you guessed the same for the bowl of chocolate, but the bottle of wine in my other hand got you puzzled…you were getting excited. I set it all on the ground, took a chair and set it a few inches from you, positioned where you could see me and everything I was doing. I sat on the chair and smiled at you, you smiled back but your smile was quick as if to say, “Ok, enough. Come and finish up what you started”, as if I knew what was on your mind, I said quickly, “Hold on. Watch me and don’t take your eyes off me.”. I turned around, facing my ass towards you. I had on a lacey thong, it was all ropes and nothing else. I wasn’t wearing a bra; I took it off in the kitchen. I was wearing a very loose fitting, thin tank top and my nipples were pressing hard against the fabric. I sat on the chair while you focused and I put my hand in my pussy and started to fondle myself. I was teasing you. I put my fingers in and began thrusting while I played with my clit. I started to moan softly, I remembered you saying you liked what I sounded like during sex so I knew this felt like torture. I was rubbing my clit a little faster while my other hand was thrusting a little harder, “uhh! uhh! uuh!”. And I came.
You felt useless there watching. You were completely hard, I could see the way your veins wrapped around your dick. I wanted to take you into my mouth, but I was having fun teasing you so I decided to go again, this time, I had a vibrating dildo. I switched it on and placed it on my clit, I let it vibrate against my clit a little bit before I put it in. I came faster this time and my moan was louder. I was done. I made myself cum twice while you watched. I was having fun!
I pushed the chair aside as I got up and walked towards you. I picked up the wine bottle and it was still cold so I took a gulp from it, it gave my mouth a cool temperature and I put your dick in my mouth like a savage. I was going really fast this time and making a lot of sounds like I was having a good time. After a few thrusts, I took it out and spat on it, moved my hand in a vertical motion before putting it back in my mouth, you were enjoying yourself now. I reached for the bowl of chocolate and poured it all over your dick without caution, I didn’t care about the couch, I just wanted to suck you till you came. I started with your balls this time, kissing and massaging. Then I took your dick, and started kissing the tip and using my tongue to play with it again. I was licking off the chocolate slowly but with more passion this time and it didn’t take me long to put all of your dick in my mouth, I was deep throating this shit. I thought I was going to gag so I went back to a safer but harder rhythm, I was taking it harder and faster then you jerked a little and muttered, “Oh baby”, before you came in my mouth. I had never swallowed before, but I did today. I kissed your dick which was very erect now, got up, took the whip cream and got close to you; I noticed for the first time that you had taken your shirt off while I was in the kitchen. I took the cream and made a straight line from your dick to your chest and then I started to lick it up while making my way up to your face. I leaned in to kiss you while my hands were at the sides of your ears like I was invisibly pinning you down.
While I kissed your incredibly soft lips, I sat on your dick. I didn’t know when I gasped and blurted, “oh my gawd!”, then I began to ride you slowly, moving forward and backwards at a slow pace. It felt so good and I could have sworn I felt in in my abdomen, you felt just right inside of me. While I was riding you, you grabbed my ass and I kept going forward and backward. You were responding with equal rhythm and you felt so fucking good! I wasn’t sure when, but I know I started to ride you faster and faster, moaning. My moans got louder, and louder and louder and I was saying things, a lot of things; “ugh! Yes! Oh my gawd! You feel so good”, and other things of that nature. I was pulsating, I couldn’t contain myself, we were going harder and faster. The chair was making a creaking sound but we didn’t stop. Your moans were loud but my screams over shadowed every sound you made… then I felt it, The pleasure. This was different, it was a special kind of feeling, I had hit climax, and I came with a loud “oh fuuuuck!”, I was done but you weren’t. With that, you lifted me, bent me over on the couch and with the sexiest smirk on your lips, you said, “MY TURN”.

#theLSRseries @Beracah___ : Over You

Ours was a practical case of building castles in the air.
Oh, all the plans we made, all the dreams I had,
I felt things I thought it was impossible to feel.
My imagination ran wild blinded by love.
‘Forever’ hadn’t yet occurred to me, but ‘Together’ was foremost on my mind.
I can’t deny I saw the signs though.

“It’s not you, it’s me”.
Really? The most famous breakup punchline?
I thought I deserved better…
I deserved to be treated better than you did treat me.
I even thought I deserved a better breakup…If that makes any sense.
Hell! A lot of people thought I deserved better than you anyway,
But the heart wants what it wa-an-an-an-an-ants, haha, right?
So I broke down in grief, I’d lost a part of me.
Okay life, lesson learnt: “Do not to lose yourself in loving another”.

So it took me this final encounter to do it,
But I can finally say, “I got you outta my f*cking system”.
🚶Deuces baby! ✌

Introducing #theLSRseries

“From the producers that brought you Inception of Sin, Summer 14, The Cocoa Tree Diaries from last year comes another Summer Blockbuster of writing genius called #theLSRseries!!! It includes comedy 😂😂 , poetry *pensive* , fiction :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:  and erotica (pg18) 😈😈😈 . Articles….“

Okay… That’s just me doing copy and paste work from @Jaykeyakubu10’s BC.
But here’s the gist, we are back, bigger than ever, and this year, we are serving it Hot Hot! ;);) Yes, with more pepper than an Indian midget can handle :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:. This year, we’ve got all the craziness and madness of last year, with 10 new awesome writers throwing 90 solid posts at you. Everyday, 9 am, 3 pm and 9 pm we’d be dropping a post from now till the end of August.

So you’ve heard it 
It’s gonna be Hot :mrgreen::mrgreen:
It’s gonna be Dirty ;);)
You should expect some crazy 😂😂
And our lovey Dovey people dropping some poetic bars

Tell someone to tell somebody you heard it here first 😁😁😁
Tweet it, Facebook it, Instagram it, BBM it, but please don’t take this to 2go, we are better than that 😑😑😑.

15 hours to go here 💋 💋

We Are Back To Square One; A Disenfranchised South

The problem here is simple,
The North and the West combined efforts
to displace the entirety of the South.
The numbers alone tell the truth,
Not the final result but the independent state
By state breakdown.

In a bid to avoid the precipitation of any
fallacies, the numbers and the sheer margin shows
that the choice is not a general one.
Democracy isn’t built by imposing the choices of
the larger numbers on the lesser, no!
By all means there is no dictatorship more distasteful.
Where the voice of a people remain oppressed by
the selfish pursuits of others. It is hurtful

I cannot say I the APC didn’t push a wonderful effort.
They did!
Campaigning from state to state and filling every
social platform with a plethora of Anti-PDP propaganda.
They have successfully gotten the formula right to build
a working opposition in a complex country like Nigeria.
As such it is totally acceptable💃💃 that they took the bottom home.

All said and done, the numbers tell a slightly different tale.
With GEJ only winning Plateau in the north and Ekiti in the west,
It shows that these elections were won on ethnic lines,
And not the not so preach spirit of nationalism.
The numbers also tell another different story,
The much popularized song of a failed Jonathan
is a song sang only in the North and West.
The now bothersome chant of change simply
didn’t make it home in the South, nor East.

Would it be that not everyone is displeased with the Presidency?
Or the entire issues stems from the power starved
powers in the North and West?
As much as we wish to avoid this hurting truth,
Neither APC nor PDP won today,
Cause if it were, Edo, Rivers and Ebonyi
wouldn’t have happened.
Rather, a committed North/West won,
Over the weaker and now disenfranchised South/East.

If you have so quickly forgotten why we rejoiced
at the GEJ vice presidency of 2007,
I like to remind you
Every person in the South felt cheated on.
The same feeling the easterners had back in 1966.
While having the presidency served to sooth the pain,
We have today opened wounds that we thought were gone.
Because I consider myself a nationalist,
I truly may not be hurt by the turn of events.
I dare say nonetheless, the insult of the North/West
On the remainder of this nation would never be forgotten.

To end my Lamentations I must say,
Today, we have brought ourselves to square one.
A Goodluck Jonathan win would have paved the
Way to a rotational stability in the zoning of presidents.
If the APC waited 4 years more,
We would have set the pace for a contractual partnership.
Today anyways, we have paved the roads back to anarchy,
We have pointed our future to the arguments we once ended.

Today my fellow Niger Deltans,
APC didn’t win,
Nigeria didn’t win,
Democracy itself didn’t win,
The North/West won
And we should not hide away from this truth as we move on.

Congratulations to The gangly Daura General,
We look forward to building a better nation with you.
APC – Change

Why

Why do I write poems?
When you would not read them.
Why do I read the words?
When you’re never ready to talk.
Why do I keep saying the words?
When you’re not even listening.
Why do I listen to what they say?
When I know you would never care.
Why do I care about you?
When I know your image is a lie.
Why do I bother to lie?
When it makes no difference.
Why do I think of the difference?
When life still goes on.

So many Questions on my mind,
So many reasons to forget you,
So many feelings i now regret,
So much I can’t let go.

Pride, Passion and Ruthless Pragmatism – Sex (Part 2)

Before you read this, if you haven’t seen the first post, check the homepage 😁😁😁 This would be a lot better if you do 😘😘😘

****

Going back to my private school, you can imagine the pride I had flowing over my shoulders like your tie in the wind. I had the look of Jet Li before he pulled off a classic movie move and beat up and entire town full of ninjas. I can’t remember the movie title, but I do recall that he beat up and entire village of ninjas, killed them all, and didn’t have a drop of blood on his outfit. Now you see, that’s just “badass”! And that’s the sort of confidence I had – The Bad Guy Kind Of Confidence. With this Jose Mourinho “I-Am-The-Chosen-One” confidence, I walked into my new school believing I could win the champions league. I sadly didn’t know I wasn’t Chelsea, more like Crystal Palace (FM metaphor there). Not knowing what I was in for, I didn’t only try to get 1 of the finest girls in the school, I tried to get two, at the same time 😔😔. If you don’t yet grasp how foolish that was, you can imagine me in my Mourinho confidence trying to win the champions league and the EPL with “Crystal Palace” which in this case was impossible as Crystal Palace didn’t even qualify for the CL (In this case that meant an automatic friend-zone – Another FM metaphor). I spent two equality years of my life trying to forget exactly how this went down, so I’m sorry to disappoint if you were hoping for a laugh. But you bet your money it wasn’t just one awkward moment.

The results of my unfortunate attempts to score a home run twice in one half were more catastrophic than comedic. The back fall eventually set me on a 2 year weight loss program that saw me eating no more than twice a day and participating in the daily exercises ever more passionate than before. I also become more pragmatic about my relish out pursuits which saw me become a Jehovah’s Witness. I eventually became an “Unbaptized Publisher” which meant I went around preaching the word. I can remember adding about a foot or so. I moved from the front of the line, to the back. One of my faults as pointed out back then was my inability to communicate. You cannot imagine talking to the me in Jss2. If it wasn’t about mathematics, archeology or the basic lessons obtainable from the Chinese dynasties, then I wasn’t your guy. Even my debates back then were more about my ability to memorize scripts and reproduce them like it were true. Most call it lying, I call it story telling. This joke the less got me working on myself like never before. Nope, I didn’t talk to walls to have conversations in my sleep. Though I read books, books and books. A whole lot more than I read my text books. Eventually, I would pick up sarcasm and some charm to make the conversations better, but still, things didn’t click. Everything other thing, academics mostly seemed to go my way except for the woman struggle. Competitions and inter school outings came, and with every one, I met new females, sadly, I was still “Crystal Palace trying to win the champions league”.

Jss3 on the other hand was more like my magical turn around year. Suddenly I became the funny fat kid who was quite smart. Not still Manchester United or Chelsea, but who am I to say no to being Stoke or Everton? 😁😁😁 It was also a year of many crazy things. This time, when it came to the girls, I had a lot more confidence. In fact, the 3-P’s showed firmly in every one of my attempts. I got to score a senior for the first time in my life. A path that I took and eventually never looked back from. Even though I could feel her telling me in a million words that whatever we had couldn’t go public, I was pretty happy with making out in the class during siesta or sports. Not like I was a fan of the sports either, being 3rd choice keeper made it my disparagingly low promise in football obvious and as such I considered it a better way to spend my time. As this was my first “junior-senior” affair, I had quite a few reservations on the manner we conducted out business. Though, in the future, the pragmatic side of me showed it’s head in how I achieved what I wanted.

Second term did come and with it a new principal, much more like tradition now, but to us back then, more like a need to worry. With every new principal comes new principles. Many of which we couldn’t live with as they changed the look of our exams. This slightly fair Yoruba man whose ekiti tongue sold him before he could introduce himself was out for each and every one of us. No more “Areas of Concentration”. Repetition of questions also stopped which meant reading was the only option back then. As you can imagine, this departure from the easy ways unsettled some nerves. And what better time to take advantage than when people are under pressure? I remember this senior who, for all obvious reasons had not given me face for the entirety of her stay in the school. I had heard stories of her interactions with her mates and as such, I wanted some of the goodies. As is usually the case, she wasn’t on the smart side, more like Gods way of balancing the odds for us. Well, the need inside me for some of what she offers got my practical side working. I eventually developed a plan to steal questions papers, mostly for her class from the principals office where they were usually kept after vetting for “safety reasons”. This was quite surprising as our principal never ever locked his office which to me defeated the purpose for storage, but I won’t say that was my problem 😁😁😁. We pulled the principal out of his office when we reported that a student bought a drink and forgot the bottle in the class. By estimating the period it would take for him to give his long speech about discipline and eventually flog the culprit we figured we could easily steal the questions for every one of us to be happy.

D-Day would arrive and we all woke up feeling like we had undergone serious CIA training overnight. I say in the class watching the clock tick for 4 long periods. The flow of adrenaline through my veins made every single one feel like a whole day. Break time would eventually arrive and with it the empty bottles of Maltina and Coke. The feeling in my heart was indescribable as we set up to start the mission. I wouldn’t exactly call it stupidity, more like purpose and the unflinching drive to get what I want. Five minutes to the end of break time and there I was, in front of the principals office …

*Knock Knock*
*Whos There?

******

Expect the next part in 2 weeks 😘😘😘
If you enjoyed reading this, please do well to share 😁😁😁

Pride, Passion and Ruthless Pragmatism – Introduction

Hello, Good Evening. I’m really happy today cause, well…. It’s the 731st day since I mad my first post. If you don’t understand, it’s 2 years down the road. I want to thank everyone again for being here. I’m all mushy and rosy. But I’d try my best to hide it all. My first post was a short post about me. 101 posts later and I’m still talking about me, because this has been personal and would always be. Alright, before I start sounding like a bucket of water, here’s the first part of my very new series.

Pride, Passion and Ruthless Pragmatism

Sex

Part 1

I can remember turning my head into the room, fairly filled over capacity with some 8 boys and asking with the greatest feeling of bewilderment. The chorus of “Joy” that I got for an answer even made it all the more disturbing to me. As a child, I had never been taken to the things that made others tick. As such, it’s no surprise that I only got to understand what masturbation – rather “wanking” was till my sophomore year. Yes, you can close your mouth, everyone has something they learnt late, and for me, this was one of them. Sadly, keeping shut on things I know nothing about is something I still haven’t learnt to date. Combine these two and you can already foresee the plethora of awkward moments I got into whenever the topic was raised. One of those moments came when I asked which felt better, between the right and left hands. The answers are a bit more mind scaring than the question itself which ensured that I forgot each and every one of them. (Though it remains one of my many fascinations till date)

“How did you feel; the first time you ever wanked?” – that was the question that exposed the burning flames of joy in each and every person I had afore me. I could only wonder why as I couldn’t share in this happiness. To me, a new comer, it was just one of those “meh!” things – Start, dig in deep for the thoughts, get it over with, and move on to the next thing. I would later find out that pattern wasn’t only related to the act in question but my life as a whole; every decision and action that followed. This sadly, was never really the case. My rather adventurous childhood made sure I had a good understanding of the act, sex this time, enough of masturbation. I got my first kiss some 8 years out of my mothers body, quite late to some but was okay to me. Eventually got to see my first pussy at 10 there about, you already figured I spread my first pair of legs quite early, so I did get into the game quite fast. But as we know, things that come easy, would usually go easy too. And this reality would soon grow on me. I found out that to continue spreading legs like I did, well, quality legs, I would require a great deal of passion, pragmatism, but ironically a complete lack of pride and chill. As you can imagine, this didn’t go down well in my young fat boy brain 😒😒. If I couldn’t have my pride and spread some legs, then I was gonna hold on to my pride. I consider this thought the reason behind my very long stay in the desert of sexual activities (With sex being the water, if you couldn’t process the analogy).

The early days of primary school would quickly pass by. Memories from then are limited to the yellow and blue wooden desks in my classrooms. More than that would be the flowers that came after my class name. Maybe a classier way to define arms, I wasn’t a fan of the ‘A,B,C…’ system, so Rose, Lily, and Hibiscus sounded like much better names. Better still, the beautiful twin girls that together, ensured I sat permanently in 3rd position in my entire primary 1. If I go on to say I had even an ounce of attraction to them, you would think me a pervert, without second thought. Considering how young I must have been in primary 1. But pervasion probably wasn’t the reason why the attraction never surfaced. More again with the pride. They were way smarter than me, and most would say they looked quite a bit finer than myself. I got to understand quite quickly how society worked, “if she’s finer and smarter, then she’s way out of your league”; primary school reasoning I would assume. Our eventual relocation sometime around age 6/7 featured even lesser memories from my primary school. I remember having to choose between two schools, the big model school where all the cool kids went to (I see some Bycas students smiling at that) and the relatively new and expensive private school close to home. Well, you can guess which I chose, the latter seemed a much better choice … Because? Air conditioners and Beautiful head mistress. The former eventually turned out to be false, the school didn’t have air conditioners, but the light skin head mistress shined bright enough to cover any atom of darkness that would have stirred up in my heart. That said, the general uneventfulness of this period as far as sex is related is quite saddening and as such, I’d move on.

Secondary school on the other hand was one of many adventures. Walking into a public school, 150 people in my class meant there were invariably a greater number of girls to crush on. I’d say crush as most of them didn’t really materialize into much. I would have thought being made class captain would serve you well as a “bad guy”, but turns out writing the “list of noise makers” got me more enemies than it got me friends. Don’t misunderstand me, it got the females coming, but they simply wanted their names off the list, not really much more from the annoying fat kid. I had severally seen my much more senior friends pull off some very crazy tricks to get a chick like I see in the movies, and I wanted to be like them…desperately. One afternoon, after a long day of classes, I was “presumably” setting p with one of the crushes, not knowing that societal laws had effectively ensured that the friendzone was my only destination. You understand? Like one of those times you meet a girl, you’re tryna talk her up and she says “You’ve been friend zoned without any hope of recovery”, and you’re like 😳😳😳😳 “What did I do wrong?”. I was sitting at this point and my JSS1 brain simply couldn’t interpret. Well, my inability to score this chick wasn’t my focus, rather, it was literally watching a senior pluck a red-ish flower from one of the shrubs around, walk up to a hottie (who by the way, was his senior), put this flower in her hair, spit a couple of lines, and voila! She was melting like ice cream in Kano. While not so much of a shocker now, you can imagine my 8 year old brain trying to process this. My face spoke less of shock as it spoke of “What the fuck!!”. What magical words did he speak that I couldn’t know?? Is there something about the flower? At that moment I could even go on to imagine he had consulted some priest for a charm; and Africa magic didn’t in any way help to prevent this notion. While I couldn’t understand what he said of make sense of her reaction, I realized that spending #100 naira of my break money to buy roasted fish for my crush wasn’t doing me much. This singular act shaped my philosophy of girls for my entire secondary period. Money was important, but it wasn’t required.

He would eventually go on to score this “hottie” in the plantain plantation behind our school. A mystical land which I never got to visit in the one year I spent at that school. Many great stories of how students had parties and did a lot more were all of the memories I had of that place. But at this point, I had to score something, and getting a chick was more an issue of image and not even for any form of attraction. This feeling, which still lingers today got me understanding a lot. The light skin girls brought more rep points, and it reduced with a proportional decrease in skin brightness. Also, relationships that went beyond mere talk would do your image a great deal of good too. So I had two major pointers and a handful of lessons in hand when I set out for my new/old school to continue my Jss2. Spending my Jss1 where I did was a wonderful idea, one of my dad’s novelty ideas in life that I remain ever grateful for. He suggested that I needed to learn a lot more about life and the private school wasn’t going to help me. I still suspect that the school fees which I technically didn’t pay in my public-ish school had a lot more to do with the decision, but I’m happy still for all the lessons learnt. Sadly, another year there would have done me so much good. For example, of all the lessons I learnt, I never learnt early enough that I had to do more than just try to get the hottest girls. What damage not knowing such a vital thing could do to your life. If at this point, you’re just expecting an awkward moment, or a couple of awkward moments, then you’re on a very very long thing….

*****

Part 2 comes up in about a week, so get sharing, get liking, and remember to reblog

Hello, Happy New Year

To these people, I’m saying a very happy new year! We gon kill it again.
In no particular order,
“The Wife Material” – I’ve been telling you, This is our year.😘😘
Lami – Dayone Bruh! We gat more chills for this year though.
Clinton – Read Previous Message
Kuro – Read Previous Message
Patrick & Oreva – How broomstick carry join broomstick 😩😩😩😪
MBA – Bruh! Please Find a babe this year 😰😰😰 And I need my money
Josh – This guy, drop out soon…Nollywood is the way! Plus settle down
Sadi – You gats drop these gay outfits in 2025! But we still FAM mehn
Yakubu & Ijayy* – I got no comments till I drink the palm wine from you two
Tope & Eniola – Tope, My #350 😐😐😐 Eniola tell this boy oh! G’s for days
Gaffer & The ijebu FAM – My fellow compatriot in the struggle, Your Garri is necessary *in wiz kids voice*
Seyitan & Tolu – You two owe me a good deal of airtime 😠😠😠😟
Lamide, Dammy, Deola, Ife – My Sisters 😘😘 Being mean isn’t fun without You lot
Akin, Handsome and the Posh Fam – that’s what you are, Family 😗😗😗
Lanre Shonubi – I lack words bruh, but you’ve been an inspiration through the years.
Jessam – We only just met, but who cares? ✌️✌️ I’m still pissed that you called me plus size 😾😾
Dayve Adams – I would pay you someday, for MM, I promise 😅😅😅
Rosevelt & Chroma Media – We’ve had a rough year, but you still my bro.
Anita – My Sisterzoned Bae… Your miracle might come this year 😘😘❤️
Tobi Fabz – 😰😰 Bruh! There won’t be no you in school next sem 😭😭😭
Chris, Smith, And Le Estate boys – Keep paying your tithe 😅😅😅 When God blesses our hustle, we would share the money.
Daniel, Eli, Mide, Eze, Shovel, Osas, Dammy, Seyi A, John O., Kewe, Ayo, – Any brother I didn’t list 😰😰😥 Na laziness cause am ….Y’ll are my second FAM! the best course ever. Goodluck with IT, I’m stuck with AZU
Royal – The brother than ran away! 2015 would be a better year for us Chibuzor Abraham Onukwube – You slyed a brother this year, but we good FAM
Odera – KingSize ✌️✌️✊✊ I’d leave it at that
Tomi – You’re another inspiration 😰😰😰 Calm down, and let’s do business
Adedamola, Esther, Sandra, Eze Karen 😁😁 and the entire BIOSSA FAM – I’d miss Y’ll 😭😭😭
Jacqueline 😊😊😊 I couldn’t forget you, I’d still be a pain in the ass through the year. There wouldn’t be life if I can’t annoy you. I owe you a movie and much more this year 😘😘😘
Oreoluwa Sade – 😔😔😔 Ya my 9th Sister, the annoying big-small one. Happy graduation in the coming year, you’d be missed.
Michelle – 😘😘😘 That’s all I can say. 2014 didn’t go as planned. But we’re still here right 😁😁😁 we’d be Kvnging this year
Christina – 😊😊😊 Last But not least, there’s you 😊 Ya a special part of my life 😂😂😂 You know this already.

Brothers in extension who I have t hailed yet, Joey, Trae, JODI, and every other home boy, it’s another year of hustle and chills. 😊😊😊

To all them ladies I couldn’t send a shoutout to, Y’ll are important, rather, where important 😊😊😊 thanks for the happy moments we shared

I’d be waiting in 2016 to do this again 😘😘😘
Happy New Year